


Obliviate

by piiratebuttercup



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dark, Dark Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Love/Hate, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Self-Hatred, Sexual Tension, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28677891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piiratebuttercup/pseuds/piiratebuttercup
Summary: Darkness. Pain. Vices. Hermione Granger is a 23-year old prodigy living in New York, dealing with the run-of-the-mill struggles that many others deal with. That is, until an oddly familiar tall, blonde man comes in and flips her world upside down. What happens when she starts to remember everything that happened? Was everything she knew to be true a lie?
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson/Blaise Zabini
Comments: 11
Kudos: 31





	1. 00

_The choice was once_

_your choosing,_

_before losing_

_became my loss._

_I was there in_

_your forgetting---_

_until I was forgot._

_-Lang Leave_


	2. 01

It was cold and rainy in New York City. Water pelted down from the gray clouds, soaking her clothes. There was a small layer of snow on the ground, as it was nearing Christmas. She shivered as she frantically tried to find an open coffee shop. Goosebumps emerged all over her arms, her wet sweater clinging to her skin. The harsh droplets of rain fell into her hair, turning her amber curls into a tangled and frizzy mess. 

She finally stumbled upon a coffee shop, and she ran inside. The minute she entered, the warmth hit her all at once, instantly soothing her. Taking a deep inhale, she enjoyed the newfound comfort, basking in the fact that she had made it into a dry area before the rain could do anymore damage to her appearance than it already had. 

She removed her wet gloves, throwing them into the coat of her jacket. In a sorry attempt to soothe her shaking hands, she breathed hot air in between them, and rubbed them against each other to create friction. 

She stepped into line and ordered a cappuccino. Glancing around the shop, she noticed couples and friends mingling everywhere. The way people threw their heads up and burst out laughing filled her with joy. The sentiments and moods of the holiday season overtook her coldness with joy. 

Grabbing her now ready coffee, her hands were instantly met with the warmth of the coffee radiating to the outside of the cup. The heat seeped into her nerves and warmed up her whole body, ridding her of any straggling goosebumps. 

She walked over to an open table and plopped down. She took her bag off and pulled out her moleskine notebook and pencil. She looked up and took in her surroundings. The bustle of people all around, bundled up in scarves and coats, gripping onto their coffee cups. Nothing in particular caught her eye, everyone seemed perfectly ordinary. 

That was until she noticed someone sitting in front of her. 

He was dashing. His platinum blonde hair stood out immediately. She began to study him closely. His black turtleneck rose up to his chiseled jaw, accentuating his porcelain skin. His large hands peeked out of his coat, decorated with black and silver rings. He was exceptionally tall, she could tell simply by the way he sat in his chair. 

The way he held his small coffee cup in his large hands should have been comical, but she found it intriguing, how someone so masculine and large could be contrasted by the daintiness of the small and delicate cup. 

She had been staring at him a little too long, long enough to be caught. He looked up and met her eyes. They were a piercing grey with small hints of ice blue, and they seemed so oddly familiar. Surely, she would never forget someone with such unique eyes, but here she was, questioning where she had seen them before. They pierced into her plain, brown eyes. It made her feel silly, almost boring. The side of his lip curled up slightly, telling her that he wasn’t upset about the encounter, but she looked away, embarrassed and slightly intimidated. 

She looked down at her blank notebook, and without thinking any further, she began to sketch. She began to sketch him. She carefully drew out his defined features, paying close attention to the lines of his cheekbones and jaw, the way his forehead wrinkled when his sip of coffee burned his tongue slightly.

She would occasionally steal a glance to make sure she was doing him justice, but never long enough to be caught drooling over him again. She drew the way he sat, slumped in his chair, holding his coffee cup with his hands, chin held high in the air. He was so effortlessly attractive, and she wondered if he knew it too. 

She reached on the table to pick up her cup, but when she lifted it, she noticed it was empty. She groaned, loud enough for the people at the next table to stop their conversation and look at the source of the unpleasant sound. Closing her notebook, she tucked it into her bag and got back in line to order another coffee. 

Tapping her boot on the floor, she wondered if he was watching her. But why would he be watching her? There was nothing worth watching anyways, she didn’t look particularly pleasant or put-together today, at least in her mind she didn’t. 

Her thoughts were quickly interrupted when she heard a voice speak up from behind her. The voice that would answer her question. 

"What were you drawing in your notebook?" She jumped slightly, not anticipating he would be watching her from this close. She turned around to face him, to be able to get a true glance at who this mystery man was. "I scared you, didn't I? My apologies."

"It's quite alright," she laughed it off. "Just some sketches, nothing important." She had to look up to talk to him, he was far taller than she had estimated. He had to have been at least 6’2. 

"Well if it's nothing important, I'm sure you wouldn't mind showing me would you?" he flashed a smile. His teeth were just as perfect as the rest of him. The way his smile slightly curved to the right, like he had some permanent, yet entrancing smirk. But before she could reply, she was interrupted. 

"Next in line!" the barista yelled at her. She walked up towards the register, but just as she did, he stepped in front of her like she didn’t even exist. She discovered his first and possibly only flaw, that he was selfish. 

She started to make a snarky comment about his attitude and audacity, but before she could get it out, he said, "Two cappuccinos please."

He paid for them, for hers. Maybe he wasn’t selfish then, and this man really was perfect. 

"What was that for?" she questioned. 

"I figured if you would be sharing something with me, I should share something with you."

So not only was she very wrong about his personality, but had also underestimated him. Sure he was nice to look at, but he was also just genuinely nice. It had to be an act, she thought. No one just walked up to strangers and started talking to them as if they were friends already. Did he have some alternative motive? But what could he possibly want from her?

"Alright, I guess. Come on," she rolled her eyes and laughed. They walked over to the table she was sitting at. He sat across from her. He ran his fingers through his hair and shook it out a little bit. She liked the way his hair was slightly wavy and straggly, it made him seem more human and less god-like. 

She hesitantly reached into her bag and pulled out the notebook, opening to the very first page. She wouldn't show him the sketch she just did of him, that would be far too embarrassing. 

Her first sketch was of a forest. She never knew where it was, it had just come to her in a dream, and she thought it was pretty. It wasn't particularly good, she had just jotted down the general idea of what she had imagined so she would have documentation of it, in case she dreamed of that place again. 

"Wow yes, I love trees. Is there a meaning behind these kindergarten sketches?" he teased her jokingly. 

"Hey, I never said my sketches were any good. You wanted to see them" she threw her arms up in innocence and raised her eyebrows at him. 

"I'm only messing with you, what's the story behind it? There has to be one if you’re drawing looks like that," he inquired. 

"It came to me in a dream. It's oddly familiar, but I can't place my finger on it, so I figured I would draw it in case that dream came to me again," she confessed. It felt good to finally open up and share her thoughts with someone, even if it was a complete stranger. There was something oddly comforting about it, because there was no prejudice or judgements of the past to hinder their response. It was nothing but the cold, hard truth. 

"You know, now that you mention, it looks quite familiar to me as well,” he took the notebook from her hand and analyzed the drawing closer. “That’s it! I’ve dreamt about this place too!" He handed the notebook back to her. 

"Sure you have," she playfully slapped his wrist when she grabbed the notebook back. 

She looked down, realizing she had touched him, and quickly drew her hand away and tucked it into her lap. She was getting far too comfortable. For all she knew, he could be a serial killer scoping out his next target, which would unfortunately probably be her. 

"Say, you down to take a walk and go look at the Christmas decorations in Times Square?" he asked, breaking the silence of the awkward moment. 

"It's raining for goodness sake! And I don't have an umbrella, so unless you wanna get soaked, then I’m afraid we’re out of luck."

"Well," he reached into an inner pocket in his coat and pulled out a small black umbrella. "Good thing I have one!" he handed the umbrella to her. 

She grabbed it and tilted her head at him, "Are you just that prepared for everything?” So much for him being a serial killer, because it looked like she wasn’t going to stop herself from leaving with him. 

"You bet," he winked at her. He stood up from his chair and began to walk over towards the door. She just watched him, the way he walked with such confidence and poise. He carried himself with great pride, not to be mistaken with having an ego, for all she knew. 

“Are you coming, or what?” he asked her over his shoulder. She snapped out of her trance, stuffing her notebook and pencil into her bag. She hurried over to the door to catch up with him, and he was already there waiting, holding the door open for her. She gave him a quick nod of gratitude and stepped outside. A real gentleman he was so far. 

He opened the small umbrella up, and she realized that it was not too roomy underneath, and they would have to huddle close together. They stepped back out into the real world and started walking through the pouring rain. The water droplets bounced off the umbrella and cascaded onto their arms peeking out of the span of the umbrella, soaking their sleeves. 

Since it was nearing the week of Christmas, there were lights draped over nearly every building. Wreaths decorated with little berries hung everywhere, little trees with ornaments were scattered on the corners of streets, the small layer of snow creating a fluffy white blanket on the ground. Christmas in New York City was beautiful, and she would never get tired of it. 

The rain had calmed down just a little bit, so she wasn't as cold anymore. She still shivered slightly, and he had noticed this. He held out his arm for her, and she hesitantly took it, wrapping her small hands around his bicep, huddling close to him to attract some of his warmth. 

“What’s your story?” he spoke out. 

“I’m sorry?”

“How’d you end up here? Runaway? Secret agent? Mafia?” he teased. 

“Oh, nothing like that. I wish I was that interesting. I moved here when I was 20, skipped college and immediately started working.”

“That’s quite young to move by yourself, don’t you think?” he looked down at her, a look she couldn’t quite read. 

“Well, I think I turned out just fine,” she gave him a faint smile. 

“So Miss Independent, where did you move from?” he smirked at her. 

“London.”

“You’re fucking lying, me too,” his eyes widened. A stranger he happened to stumble upon just also happened to move from the same place at him around the same time. The universe was really working hard. 

“No! Really?” her face lit up, realizing she had something in common with him, something she could relate to, considering he seemed so god-like and unapproachable besides that. 

“Moved here at 20, just like you. Straight from London.”

“And you had the audacity to question my age when I moved here!” She pushed him slightly, and he responded with a chuckle. 

They continued to walk around, admiring the lights and decorations in Times Square. It was easy for them to make conversation, talking about London and how their lives developed ever since they moved, what their life was like back there. They connected well, it was nice. It had been a while since she had hung out with a guy, even if this wasn't even a date. It was refreshing. 

It started to get dark out, some of the decorations being turned off or put away. He walked her back to her apartment complex, right to the front doors of her building. He dropped the umbrella and shook it out. 

"I had a nice night, you know," she smiled up at him. She admired the way he ran his fingers through his hair, shaking out any excess water than had gotten into it. 

"As did I," he winked at her. "Say, why don't you give me your number, we can do this again, how’s that sound?"

"I'd like that a lot," she pulled out her notebook, and turned to the page where she drew him. She tilted it so he couldn’t see the contents of the page. She wrote her number in the top corner and carefully tore it off, handing it to him. 

"Well, I guess I’ll see you soon then. Goodnight," she gave him a smile as she nodded her head, then turned away and began to walk inside the building. 

"Hey, wait! I didn't catch your name," he called after her. 

"Granger, Hermione Granger," she said over her shoulder. 

"Granger..." he hesitated for a second, bowing his head down like he was trying to recall something. “I don’t suppose I know you, do I?” 

“I would remember you if I knew you,” she gasped slightly at the boldness of her words, her cheeks growing hot with embarrassment. She quickly covered it up though, “And you are?” 

"Malfoy, Draco Malfoy," he smirked at her, then simply turned around and walked away without another word, without a chance to respond to him. She didn’t have a chance to tell him that his name sounded familiar too, even though she couldn’t quite place where she knew him from. 

And just like that, the tall blonde headed boy disappeared into the streets of New York City. 

  
  



	3. 02

Hermione was filled with warmth and giddiness as she walked up the stairs to her apartment. Her night had been fantastic, and quite unexpected. She was ecstatic, and couldn’t wait any longer to share her experience with her friend. She pulled her key out of her pocket and unlocked the door. 

Her roommate and friend, Ginny Weasley, had been close with her since grade school. She was a year younger, but also the sister to one of her best friends, Ron Weasley. She was close with the entire Weasley family, remembering sharing countless Christmases with them. 

"Ginny!" she yelled as she ran over to her. She jumped on the couch right next to her and pulled a blanket over her shoulders. 

"What's got you so worked up?" she questioned. "You're awfully giddy…”

Hermione shot her a big smile and waited for her to guess.

"No, don't tell me! You? Miss Hermione Granger! Went on a date?" she yelled in surprise. 

"I suppose I did," Hermione shrugged her shoulders and laughed. She knew this was a big deal to Ginny, because Hermione hadn’t been putting herself out there recently. Ginny had tried to drag her out to the club or bar with them countless times, and most times, she would come up with some excuse as to why she couldn’t go. 

"Who? Where? We have to get Ron and Harry in here! They aren’t going to believe this," she pulled her Nokia out of her pocket and texted them. 

"It all just sort of happened out of the blue. It wasn't planned, we just met for the first time and instantly clicked." 

"So you’re telling me not only did you go on a date, which is unbelievable enough, but you went with a complete stranger who you just happened to meet there? Who are you?" Ginny’s eyes were so wide, you could see the faint veins in the white of her eyes clear as day. 

Harry and Ron both stumbled into the girls' apartment. They lived right across from them, it was the perfect situation. Childhood best friends that all lived near each other. She couldn't have asked for a better place to be. 

“So who’s this mystery guy you went on a date with that we heard about?" Ron walked over to Hermione and pulled her into a side hug, burying her head under his armpit and rustling the hair on the top of her head. Ron and Hermione had dated when they were younger, and of course, like young lovers do, they drifted. It was bound to happen, the pressure of everyone saying they would get married had strained them, put pressure on them to be the perfect golden couple they were made out to be, which they were not. Their breakup was mutual, and it took them a long time to get back to how they used to be, but nonetheless, they were completely fine and normal now, even supportive of each other’s love life as if they had never even dated. 

“I met this fit guy at a coffee shop, he was absolutely amazing! He bought me coffee, looked at my drawings, and then we walked around downtown and looked at all the Christmas lights!" she swooned, flopping down on the couch and laid down her head in Ginny's lap. 

Harry and Ron ran over and jumped on the other couch. 

"I don't believe it. You? Hermione? Going on a spontaneous date with a mystery man?" Ron exchanged a look with Harry, and they burst out laughing. Hermione threw a pillow at them. 

"You two think you're so funny don't you?" Ginny rolled her eyes at the childish behaviors of the supposed “adults”. 

"So, who is this  _ mystery man _ " Harry wiggled his fingers, pretending to be a spooky ghost. 

"Well, I don't know much about him. But his name is Draco Malfoy," she told them. 

"Bloody hell that sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it Harry?" Ron furrowed his brow. 

"Mm, I dunno Ron," Harry looked kind of confused. 

“He told me he moved here from London as well, there’s a huge chance we might have known him,” Hermione added on. 

“You know, it does sound vaguely familiar, but it’s probably nothing,” Harry looked deep in thought. 

"Anyways, what's he look like? Spill!" Ginny talked over them. 

"He's tall, and I mean  _ tall,  _ he's probably 6'2? He has platinum blonde hair and these piercing grey eyes, I mean, it was like he was looking into my soul with them!" she giggled. "He was so easy to talk to, and a true gentleman." 

Harry and Ron looked at each other and burst out laughing. Hermione furrowed her brows in confusion, was there something funny about what she said? Did she sound ridiculous or something? 

"Don't tell me you've fallen for him on the first day!" Harry exclaimed. 

"Blimey! She's in love already!" Ron put his hand on his forehead and pretended to swoon. 

"Shut it you two!" Ginny threw a pillow at them. 

"HEY!" they yelled in unison. 

"You two are too much sometimes. I don’t know how I put up with you," Hermione chuckled. 

"I say we celebrate! I mean for goodness sake, she's finally going to get laid!" Ron jumped up and went to the cabinet. He pulled out a bottle of vodka. "Shots?" 

Ginny and Harry looked at each other, "You don't have to tell me twice!" Ginny exclaimed as they rushed up to get shot glasses. 

Hermione ditched the blanket she had clutched around her and stood up, walking over to them. Ron was pouring them shots, he passed one to each of them. 

"To Hermione, who shall finally find success in the bedroom!" he grinned. 

"Ron!" she groaned. 

"To Hermione!" they all chanted as they clinked their glasses and downed the shots. 

They all spent the rest of the night doing shots and messing around. It was fun, and Hermione felt she could let go and loosen up a little, things were finally starting to fall into place. It was moments like these that made her appreciate her situation and where she was. She was happy, and it was going to get better with this new guy hopefully. Things were looking better for her. 

She fell asleep that night wondering who he really was. She couldn't really get to know him that evening, it was hardly an introduction. She didn't have much to go off of, but she knew she would like him. She didn't know why, but he felt safe, and she knew that feeling already, which was odd. 

That night, she dreamt of the forest again. She was running through it, it seemed as if it were never ending. The trees around her seemed to never change, it was an endless infinity of angry oak trees. She stopped running and took a deep breath, her lungs gasping for air. She heard a branch crunch from behind her, and she whipped her head around to see the cause of the sound. It was a centaur. Half-man, half-horse. He was magnificent. She had studied them in her Greek Mythology class in high-school. This was new to her dream however, she had never seen any creatures before. It had always just been her, but now she finally had company. This was her time to get answers. 

He wasn't charging her, but instead, he approached her courteously. She stared up at him, and for some odd reason, he looked slightly familiar. He was probably one of the ones from the textbook she studied, that’s all. He circled around her slowly, as if he was analyzing her as well. 

"Who are you?" she questioned him. He stopped pacing around her and just stared at her. He took a couple breaths, then turned on his heel and ran away. It was so odd. Just like that, with no words, he was gone. 

A loud screeching noise filled her ears, and she was jolted awake from her dream. 

_ 8 A.M.  _

Hermione groaned as she rubbed her eyes, her dream leaving her with more questions than answers. This development in her dream was crucial, but instead of leaving her satisfied with this newfound information, she was frustrated at the fact that there was so much more for her to uncover. 

She hated waking up early for work, but she had to or else they would lose the apartment. She hated the idea of dressing professionally, it was simply a mask to who she was. Hermione was far from proper, and the idea that in order to work successfully you had to “dress successfully” dissatisfied her. Your work ethic shouldn’t be based on how you dress, but nonetheless, here she was, slipping on a modest pencil skirt and blazer.

She grabbed her bag and left the apartment. She was thankful the subway was only a short walk from her apartment, otherwise her feet would be dead from her stupid kitten heels. 

Hermione was an Analytics Coordinator for a major worldwide technology company. She was always first in her class growing up, which is why she was able to maintain such a high position at such a young age. She was the youngest and first female to obtain that job, and was on track to climbing the ranks even higher, possibly the CEO. Just 23 years old, she was killing the game, which was the only reason this job was worthwhile. 

Her work never truly challenged her, it was just time consuming. Her efficiency was her fatal flaw. She was so good at what she did, that everyone would bombard her with more work and keep giving their things to do. It was tiring, but she never worried about not completing something. It was just stupid busy work. Very stupid busy work. 

But it would all pay off in the end when she would become the CEO. It would all be worth it. 

She was always the last one at her building, the last office light on. It was eerie at night, but something about the silence was comforting to her. She enjoyed being able to work in the company of herself. No silly questions from interns, no distractions, it was just her and her mind. 

At the end of the very long and busy day, she locked up the building, and walked back down towards the subway. 

This night was particularly cold, sending chills down her body and on her bare legs. She hugged herself in a pathetic attempt to keep herself warm, which of course, it didn’t. She was walking down to her station, but she felt a sense of uneasiness. A little pit in her stomach arose, as if warning her about something. It was almost as if she felt another presence with her, even though she was alone. Someone was with her, following her. 

“Don't look back, don't bring attention to yourself,” she mumbled under her breath so only she could hear. She quickened her pace slightly, to see if the feeling would dissipate, but the feeling was still there no matter how fast she took each step. She felt someone's eyes burning into the back of her head. She reached a turn, and as she was turning she looked back very quickly. Like she had figured, there was a man following her. 

She picked up her pace even more, sweat beginning to drip down her forehead. She gripped her bag and finally reached her stop. The subway wasn't there yet, and this terrified her. She didn’t know how much time she had before he would catch up to her. All the possibilities of what he would want with her or what he would do to her raced through her mind, and she felt her hands start to tremble at those thoughts. She tapped her foot on the ground, becoming even more scared. She looked, and he was beginning to turn the corner where she came from. 

Panic filled her, and her forearm twitched with a sudden burst of unexplainable energy. She pulled up her sleeve and was greeted by the remnants of her scar.  _ Mudblood. _ She never knew what it meant, she only remembered some bully in high-school carved it into her arm. The memory seemed to be a blur, which was odd considering it was not too long ago. The corner of the 'M' started to open up, and a trickle of blood poured out. 

_ It was a scar, how could it just open back up? _

She wiped the blood with her fingertip, and licked it off. The taste of rust filled her mouth as she heard the loud screeches of the subway bus. The man hadn't approached yet, but he was closing the distance. As soon as the doors opened, she bolted inside and pressed the emergency shut button. Right as the doors shut, he ran up to them and banged on the glass in frustration. The aggression in his act caused her to jump, her heart rate accelerating considerably. 

He had a confused look on his face, as if he was looking for her specifically and she had somehow offended him by running away from him. It was the most odd thing she had experienced, and it caused her to shiver in discomfort. 

The bus started moving, and she took a seat. She inspected her scar, and she hadn't hallucinated. Part of the 'M' had opened back up somehow. It wasn't bleeding anymore, but there was a strong aura surrounding it. Her forearm felt different than the rest of her arm, like more blood had rushed to her veins there. She pulled down her sleeve and sighed. 

The bus took her back to her apartment complex, and she immediately flopped on her bed. She stared at the ceiling for a moment, taking in the events that had just occurred. She had so many thoughts running through her mind, she couldn't keep track of one singular train of thought.

She walked into the bathroom, and locked the door behind her. She stepped towards the mirror and looked at herself. Ripping her mangled hair out of her ponytail, she watched her brown curls fall and drape down just below her breasts. Her freckles sprinkled her nose and below her eye bags. 

She furrowed her brows, desperately trying to remember what she looked like when she was younger. There were hardly ever pictures of her from her childhood. There were some, but none of them were from school, they were all outside of school. The only picture she had with Harry and Ron was from one Christmas she spent at the Weasley's burrow. The three of them were on a couch, hugging each other in matching sweaters. She wondered where those sweaters had gone. 

She undressed, and stepped into the shower. The water was burning hot, just how she liked it. It burned her scar, more than it usually did. It was almost a small reminder of the pain that it must have caused when it was carved into her arm, a pain that she could not remember for the love of God. 

She finished her shower and wrapped a towel around her body. She walked back over to her room and changed into a hoodie and sweatpants. Her clothes engulfed her petite frame, she was swimming in them, almost drowning. 

She went out to the kitchen and made herself some hot cocoa. She got under her blankets and turned on the TV to watch A Christmas Story. It was her favorite Christmas movie, something about it just felt so familiar and like home. 

She couldn't help but think of the man she met yesterday. 

She was eager to see him again, but she knew it was too soon. She couldn't wait for him to text her, if he even did. Doubt struck her, she questioned if he didn’t actually like her and if he was just being polite by asking for her number. She brushed off the thought though, if he hadn’t actually liked her, then he wouldn’t go so far as to ask for her number. 

Hermione finished her movie, then turned off her lights and went to sleep. 

That night, she didn’t dream of the forest. In fact, she didn’t dream at all. It was just pitch black nothingness. A void of uneasiness and doubt, a reminder of the darkness in her life that she was trying to fill. The darkness of not remembering all of her childhood, the darkness of the odd scar on her arm, the darkness of the disconnect from her family. She could feel the darkness creeping up on her, and soon, she would fall hard into the pits of chaos and mystery that were her life. 

~*~

It was Christmas Eve. Her, Ron, Ginny, and Harry had made it a tradition to go out to the main pub and celebrate until it reached 12 A.M. Almost like a New Year’s celebration, but for Christmas. 

Ginny was especially ecstatic this year, more than usual. 

"What's got you so excited? It's nothing we haven't done before," Hermione questioned. 

"This year I'm finally ready to put myself out there," she grinned into the mirror as she did her makeup. Ginny was never one to be shy, but she did have a problem with settling down and committing to someone. She spent countless nights at the clubs partying away, meeting random guys, but never had the want to pursue any of them. 

"Oh don't tell me you're going to go after someone tonight?" she giggled and shook her head at her. 

"It's time Hermione! I've been single for far too long, and what better time to get with someone than the romantic Christmas season?" she exclaimed. 

"You could always go after Harry. I mean, you two were practically a thing in high-school!" 

"We don't talk about that, that never happened. Harry who?" she pretended to be confused. 

"Piss off!" Hermione threw a pillow at her. 

"Hey! Don't mess me up while I'm doing my eyeliner!" she turned around and scolded Hermione. 

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes. 

"With that attitude missy, you're gonna let me do your makeup, come here!" Ginny stood up and dragged Hermione to the chair at the vanity. 

"Seriously?" she whined. 

"Yes,  _ seriously _ ," she mocked Hermione. "What if he's there? Don't you want to look good?" 

"He's not going to be there, Ginny," she rolled her eyes. 

"You never know, and it’s better to be safe than sorry!" she began to do Hermione's makeup despite her argument. Hermione was never good at it, Ginny was the better one when it came to fashion and makeup. She did a natural look on her, but still made her look done up. She had some blush and highlighter on, a very light coat of tan eyeshadow, baby winged eyeliner, and some mascara. 

"Here, final touch," she handed Hermione a lip gloss. She put it on and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked like a completely different person. Her skin was smooth as a baby’s butt, her lips perfectly plump. 

"See! Now you're ready," Ginny said over her shoulder. 

Hermione got up and dressed in the outfit Ginny had put together for her. She threw on the pair of dark wash Levi's, a dark green long-sleeve, her black puffer coat, and a cream colored beanie. It wasn't snowing heavy, so she slipped on her black high top converse. 

She walked out towards the door of their apartment. 

"Ready to go?" she asked Ginny. 

"Mhm," she nodded. The boys were already outside waiting. Ginny walked out of the doorway, but as she passed Hermione, she slapped her on her butt. 

"Nice arse Granger!" she giggled. She ran away before Hermione could grab her and hit her, she was safe, for now. 

"Ginevra Molly Weasley!" Hermione's pinks flushed red with embarrassment. She shook her head, and locked up the apartment. 

The 4 of them walked down to the subway and rode it into Greenwich Village. Hermione’s palms started to sweat just a tad bit, she was nervous that Ginny was right, and she might actually run into him tonight. It was the anticipation of not knowing that killed her, she hated unknown variables, everything in her life had to be calculated, and he was the complete opposite. 

An unknown variable just waiting to unbalance her equation of life. 

They reached the pub and walked inside. It was lively inside. Groups of friends, all drinking and having a good time. Christmas music blasting on the speakers, people playing drunk pool. They hadn’t even made it 10 seconds before Ron was already ushering them over to the bar. 

"To the bar!" Ron exclaimed as he grabbed their wrists and pulled them over to the stools at the bar. 

"4 tequila shots please!" Harry told the bartender. 

"We just got here! We haven't even had time to settle in!" Hermione questioned them. 

Ron draped his arm around her shoulder and rubbed her beanie into her head. "Lighten up 'Mione. It's Christmas Eve!" 

"Let loose for one night! Please?" Ginny jumped out of her stool and bent down to the ground, kneeling on one knee as if she were about to propose to her. She held Hermione's hands and twisted her expression into a pout in an attempt to guilt trip her. They were all so dramatic with how they begged for things, it was quite comical to be frank. 

"I hate you guys sometimes, you know that?" she chuckled. Finally giving in to her friends’ request, she decided she would let go, just this time. "Whatever, one night!" 

"FINALLY!" the three of them yelled, clapping their hands and cheering like they had just witnessed a touchdown being scored. 

The bartender brought the shots, along with salt and limes. They sprinkled the salt on the back of their hand, and grabbed a lime. Hermione had done this once or twice before, but she knew that her friends were professional drinkers, and it wouldn’t take long for her to be piss-faced drunk at the rate that they drank at. 

"3...2...1 SHOT!" Harry yelled. Hermione licked the salt, downed the shot, and sucked on the lime. She shivered. It was strong, but it wasn't particularly bad going down her throat. 

The bartender came over and asked if they wanted another round. And of course, they all nodded their heads without a moment of hesitation. So there they were, doing another round of tequila shots. 

They were all cracking jokes and having a good time, downing shot after shot. Hermione had probably done 5 already. Normally that wouldn’t be a lot, but her low tolerance said otherwise. While her friends were all buzzed and slightly drunk, Hermione was spinning circles in her head and giggling like she was at a comedy show. She was always the babysitter, but tonight she had promised them she would let loose, and oh boy was she letting loose. 

They had all moved from the bar to the pool table. Ginny was struggling to aim correctly and kept stabbing Ron with her pool cue. 

"Bloody hell Ginny! Keep your cue to yourself, yeah?" he hit her on the shoulder. Whenever they fought, Hermione and Harry would just look at each other and laugh. They were true siblings, and their incessant bickering never got old. 

"Fuck off Ronald! Hermione, let's go do another shot, yeah?" she grabbed her arm before she could protest and dragged her to the bar. As she was being dragged, something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. Platinum blonde hair. There was no way. 

Ginny sat them down and waved the bartender down for 2 shots. Hermione wasn’t thinking straight, all she could think of was the sight of his hair, that one second seeing him had sent her into panic. She hadn’t actually prepared for how she would act or what she would do if she saw him here, she had only gotten so far as to wonder if he would be here or not. 

“Hey, what’s the matter with you?” Ginny shook Hermione’s shoulders, pulling her out of her momentary trance. She snapped her head towards Ginny and frantically widened her eyes at her. She took a look around, just to make sure he wasn’t around them. 

"I think he’s here," she mumbled so only her and Ginny could hear. 

"I told you! See what did I say? I can tell the future! Holy shit!" she cupped her cheeks with her hands and her eyes widened. Ginny didn’t understand the seriousness of this, and it frustrated Hermione. Ginny didn’t understand how nervous this made Hermione, because this kind of stuff came easy to Ginny. 

"What do I do? I me-" she was cut off when Ginny shoved the shot into her hand. 

"Down this first, you’re gonna need this. Go!" she clinked glasses with Hermione and they downed the shots. Number 6. Hermione was feeling it, this was way past her limit. They were both drunk. Against her better judgement, she turned her head to steal a glance at the hair that she believed belonged to her mystery date, and it was really him in the flesh. Draco Malfoy himself. She focused her spinning gaze to analyze the table, and she was able to make out his company. 2 other guys and 1 girl. A girl that was sitting right next to him. 

"Come on, let's go keep playing pool, I need a distraction," Hermione pulled Ginny up and pulled her back to the pool table, she couldn’t sit at the bar staring at them all night, that was borderline stalker-ish. Their pool table was in direct sight of Draco’s table, so she would be able to glance over there every so often without it being suspicious. 

"Ah! The girls finally made it back! Welcome, welcome!" Harry slung his arm over Hermione, she leaned her head back onto his shoulder, finding the support comforting. He pulled out a small bottle from his pocket. "Open up!" 

She didn’t know what came over her, maybe it was the alcohol in her system, but for once, she didn’t argue. She obeyed and opened her mouth without hesitation, something she would never normally do. He poured the bottle's contents down her throat. This one burned especially. 

"What the hell was that?" Hermione gagged. 

"Fireball!" his eyes lit up. 

"Harry James Potter! You little snake!” she shoved her finger into his chest in an accusatory manner. “I-I’m going to black out at this r-rate" she started to lose her balance. She stumbled over to a nearby table, nearly collapsing right into the corner of it. Ron ran over and held her waist, helping her back up. 

“You sure as hell are a fucking lightweight, aren’t you?” he teased her as he grabbed a stool from the table. 

“Now you know why I’m always the babysitter,” she flashed a grin at him, and Ron just stood there and laughed at her. The sight was quite funny. Hermione’s bun slightly tipped back on her head, her curls rustled up and messy down her back, her cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol rush. 

“Come on, let’s sit you down so you don’t barf all over the floor,” he dragged the stool over to the pool table and helped her sit down. Harry, Ginny, and Ron kept playing while Hermione sat there trying to concentrate and watch. Granted, it wasn’t a very good game, but Hermione found it difficult to distinguish the solids from the stripes. All the balls blurred into one mass. 

"No! Not that one! Go for the other one!" Hermione screamed at Ginny. 

"Hermione! That’s not even our fucking color! What the hell game are you watching?" she yelled back at her, with even more volume. They weren’t being particularly subtle, so she knew he had probably heard them, which meant he knew she was here as well. 

“You suck ass at this Ginevra!” she retorted back. 

“Oh yeah? I’d like to see you fucking try Hermione!” Ginny held out the pool cue for Hermione to take, her hand resting on her hip in an attempt to throw an attitude. Ginny didn’t like being challenged, let alone being shown up. She was always confident and proud in her own skills, to the point where she thought she was better than everyone at certain things. She had a right to be this confident. I mean, for Christ’s sake was this girl blessed with great genes. She excelled in everything she did, her ego was not uncalled for. 

"You have to do it like this!" Hermione hopped out of the stool and immediately lost her balance. Her one foot clipped over the other, almost causing her to fall to her knees. She caught herself, and took a moment, before striding over to Ginny and snatching the cue right out of her hand. She hobbled over to the table to position herself, lining up the cue with the white ball. She cocked it back, and shoved it forward to try and make contact with the ball. She obviously failed, quite miserably. She failed so badly it sent the white ball off of the table, rolling away somewhere. 

This sent Ron and Harry to the floor. gasping for air as they tried to contain their laughter. 

"Oh s-shut it you twoooo!" she slurred out and she flipped them off. 

“Did I see that correctly? Are we getting flipped off by Hermione Granger?” Harry turned to Ron in a sarcastic panic. 

“Oh shit, that means we must have messed up big time. What shall we do?” Ron held Harry’s face and shook it violently. What the pair they were. A comedic duo. 

"Look, look look! It’s only 1 minute until Christmas!" Ginny exclaimed. Hermione tried to focus her eyes on the clock, but it was too blurry for her to tell. Ron and Harry jumped up off the floor and joined the two quickly. 

“We made it in one piece!” Harry cheered. 

“I wouldn’t say w-we all did….one piece…” Hermione slurred as she stumbled over, losing her balance. Ginny caught her in her arms, Hermione gripping on her biceps to stay standing. 

“All but one of us.”

Everyone started cheering around them, and Hermione had figured it had finally reached 12. Hermione took all of her remaining energy and focus to stand up straight, so she could properly celebrate with her friends. 

"Merry Christmas Hermione!" Ginny held Hermione’s hands and cheered with her. 

“Merry C-Christ-st mas Ginnnnyyyy!” Hermione pulled her closer and cupped her cheeks, giving her a quick peck on the lips. She pulled away quickly and burst out laughing. The look on Ginny’s face was priceless, she had never expected Hermione to pull something like that, and Ginny’s surprise satisfied her. She pointed up towards the ceiling, and Ginny tilted her head up to see what the hell she was pointing at. Mistletoe. 

“Oh you cheeky little thing!” Ginny grinned at Hermione. Hermione was feeling happy, and bold, and confident. In this moment, she was happy she let go. She didn’t care what other people were looking at, or who she was near. She was just happy to be surrounded by her friends on Christmas, even if she was piss-faced drunk. 

The boys pouted, "Where's our kisses?" The girls exchanged glances, then walked over to them and gave them each a kiss on their cheeks. Ron and Harry grinned from ear to ear. 

Hermione finally took the moment to look over at Draco, thinking it would be harmless. But, she was very wrong. There he was, with his arm draped over the girl. No, not just his arm draped. Her vision was still blurry, so she rubbed her eyes to try and focus them to get a better look. They were kissing. Hermione’s eyes widened, and her body stiffened. Then, it hit her. 

That's why he hadn't texted back, because he wasn't interested. He already had another girl. 

When he finally pulled away from the kiss, Hermione realized she had been staring too long, because his grey eyes caught her honey brown ones. His eyes immediately widened, a slight shock spread over his face if she wasn’t mistaken. Maybe he really hadn’t paid attention all night, and he was seeing her for the first time tonight. She caught herself looking down at his lips, the way they parted slightly, still swollen and darkened from his kiss. Her breath hitched in her throat, her blinking became manual as she tried to collect herself and not have a drunken breakdown in front of him. Their staring contest was interrupted when Ron grabbed her hand and dragged her back towards the bar. She looked back over her shoulder, and was struck with confusion when she saw that he was still staring at her. 

She couldn't believe it. Here was the man she had thought to be a true gentleman, kissing another girl. Of course she had no claim on him, but it still stung. She was always the second choice. Never could she be first, not once. 

"One last round of shots before we leave, come on!" Ron ushered while she was stumbling as she walked. 

She slapped her hands down on the bar for balance, and downed the shot, too drunk to even care about the burning taste down her throat. She didn’t even care what alcohol she was downing, it was all the same at this point. Just stupid liquid to distract herself from reality. This final shot was the tipping point, literally. 

She lost all balance and fell to her knees on the floor. 

“Oops!” she giggled. She didn’t care that the sticky floor was dirtying her jeans, she had far bigger concerns. Like the fact that she was back to being single, all hope of finding a decent guy had just flown out the window. All she could think about was him, the fact that he had given her this false sense of comfort only to crush it right in front of her very eyes. 

"Lord Hermione when we meant let loose we didn’t mean this loose!” Ginny looked down at her. 

"Alright, up ya go!" Ron picked her up and slung her over his shoulder, her face buried in his back. She couldn’t protest being embarrassed like this, she couldn’t formulate a sentence properly. She just let him pick her up like a stupid rag doll, like the stupid little girl she was. A stupid little girl for believing someone so attractive and bold would actually want someone like her.

Ron carried her out of the pub, slung on his shoulder. The world spinning around her as she stared down at the ground. Right before they reached the door, she managed to pull her head up, to get one last glance at the boy who had betrayed her. Their eyes met once again, as he was already watching her, watching her getting dragged out by another man. She refused to look at the girl, she only stared directly into those cold, grey eyes. She was surprised when they softened, just in the slightest bit, as if he was sorry. Probably only sorry that she had to see it though, not sorry at the fact that he did it. 

She furrowed her brows and bit her bottom lip to keep her from saying anything to him. In her current state, she would probably be screaming profanities at him for leading her on, letting her believe he was interested when he already had someone to occupy his time. But she didn’t. He didn't deserve the satisfaction of getting a conversation, even if it was her yelling at him. 

They held their stares until the moment she left the pub, and the doors closed on them, finally breaking their line of sight. Hermione let out a big sigh, and let her hand hang back down. 

_ Merry Christmas to me _ , she thought. She let her eyes fall shut, letting all the alcohol consume her, and she passed out. 

  
  



	4. 03

She woke up with a pounding headache. She turned over and looked at her clock. 

_ 11:23 AM _

She groaned and got up and out of bed. She dragged herself over to the bathroom. She poured herself a glass of water and fumbled through the cabinets as she searched for the bottle of aspirin. She popped two of them, savoring the sweet relief of a liquid other than alcohol travelling down her throat. Taking a look in the mirror, she noticed she was still in her jeans and long-sleeve. Hermione walked back to her room and scrambled through her drawers until she found something to comfy to wear. 

She left her room, throwing her curls up into a messy bun as she walked to the kitchen to get some food. She was startled when she noticed a presence on her couch. Creeping over to see who was occupying her space, she noticed the short and scruffy ginger hair. It was just Ron sleeping on her couch. She snatched the pillow he was resting his head on and used it to hit him in the face. 

"Oi, wake up! What do you want for breakfast?" she continuously hit him with the pillow until he woke up. 

"Bloody hell Hermione, Merry Christmas to you as well. What time is it?" he groaned, grabbing the pillow from her grasp and burying his head into it. 

"It's like 11:30-ish. Come on, get up. We need food," she dragged him up and handed him some aspirin and a glass of water. No matter how shitty Hermione herself was feeling, she always made sure those around her were taken care of as well, even if it was at the expense of her own well-being. 

"What a night, eh?" he laughed while rubbing his eyes. 

"Oh, it was definitely a night. Say, where's Ginny and Ha- Oh!" she realized. That’s when it hit her. Ginny wasn’t talking about meeting some new guy to settle down with. She was talking about rekindling her relationship with Harry and settling down with him. It made perfect sense, and it made Hermione happy. Her friends deserved to be happy, and she believed that they truly did make each other happy. 

“That’s why you slept here, I’m assuming?”

"Yup. Wouldn’t want to interrupt their activities," he stood up and took a seat at the table. Hermione made toast and eggs for the two of them. 

“It’s about time they finally admit they never lost feelings for each other,” Hermione picked at her eggs, pushing them around her plate mindlessly. 

“It was just a game of chicken, who would admit to it first. And we both know the ego and pride my sister has, so my money’s on Harry being the one to give in.”

"Oh, before I forget!" Hermione ran over to the little tree her and Ginny had put up, and pulled out a small box from underneath. She ran back over to the table with the box in hand. He looked confused as to why Hermione had ran away mid conversation. But then again, Hermione had pulled many surprising stunts recently, so he couldn’t really expect anything she does to be normal. 

"Merry Christmas Ron," she smiled, handing him the shiny red wrapped box. 

"'Mione, you didn't have to! But I guess I'll still open it," he teased. He ripped the wrapping off and opened the box. It was the watch he had pointed out he was saving up for a couple months ago. "You didn't? You did! Blimey, thank you!" he jumped out of his seat and slammed into Hermione, pulling her into a tight embrace. She’ll always love his hugs, even if they aren’t together. They’ll always make her feel safe and comforted, his warmth travelling into her from the contact. 

"Of course, Ron!" she smiled into his chest. He pulled away, sitting back down to finish up his breakfast. He took the watch out of the box and immediately put it on, turning his wrist over and over to admire the fine piece of gold on his skin. 

"I got a little something for you as well, it’s over at the apartment."

"I'll text Ginny, and have her bring it out before she comes back here. We're supposed to go get coffee anyways," she got up and went to grab her phone, texting Ginny. 

**_11:59 A.M_ **

_ Coffee in 10. Meet you out front. Ron asked to grab the gift for me. _

She ran back into her room and threw on some clothes. She grabbed Harry's present and handed it to Ron. "Give this to Harry?" 

He rolled his eyes, "What? So I'm your own personal delivery service now? Delivering drunk Hermione to her bed, and now presents to Harry? I'm gonna have to start charging!" he pretended to be concerned. 

She hit him on his shoulder and laughed. "Very funny, see you later!" She handed him the gift before he could protest any longer, and walked out and met Ginny out front.

“I presume you had a fun night?” Hermione shot up her eyebrows suggestively, teasing her. Ginny shoved a decently sized box into her hands to shut her up. 

“Shh! Can you not wait until we aren’t in front of their bloody apartment?” 

“Whatever!” Hermione rolled her eyes as she went back into the apartment to place the box underneath the tree. Giving one last goodbye to Ron, she left to go get coffee with Ginny. 

They walked out to the coffee shop Hermione had met Draco at, and ordered some coffees. Hermione had sat them down as far away from the table she and Draco had sat at, she didn’t want any flashbacks or memories to come flooding back. 

"So, you and Harry huh?" Hermione raised her eyebrows teasingly. 

"I was embarrassed to admit it at first, after I told you nothing was going to happen between us, I'm sorry,” Ginny fiddled with the lid of her cup, this feeling of nervousness was obviously foreign to her. 

"Don't apologize, I'm just glad for you two."

"And this is why I love you," she laughed. "So, last night, with Draco, what happened?" Ginny asked sympathetically. 

"I honestly don't remember too well. I just remember after I kissed you, I looked over, and saw him kissing the girl they were with,” she began to recall. She didn’t enjoy having to run back through the events of last night, it was honestly embarrassing for her to admit this. 

“No, he didn’t! That dickhead!” Ginny furrowed her brows. She was always defensive over her friends, it was a reflex for her to be angry when her friends were wronged. It was what made Ginny such a loyal and dependable friend. 

“Then we exchanged glances, and we just stared. Literally stared at each other, and if I remember correctly, he honestly looked surprised, like he had gotten caught!" Hermione threw her hands up in surrender. She wasn't sure why he had been surprised. If he was snogging another girl, then he shouldn't be surprised when he sees a girl he hung out with once. It would not have made the difference to him, but yet, it apparently did. 

"Oh Hermione, I'm sorry. I really thought he was going to be a good one," she reached and grabbed Hermione's hand, holding it firmly. 

"Thanks Ginny, I thought so too. Oh well, maybe it was for the better?" 

"Maybe so. But enough sorrow. Here, this will cheer you up!" Ginny gave her hand a final squeeze, and reached into her bag, pulling out a hand-wrapped gift. 

"Ginny!" Hermione ran to the other side of the table and pulled her into a tight hug. She ran back over and unwrapped the messy silver wrapping paper, wrapping was not one of Ginny’s many skills surprisingly. Come to think of it, none of her friends could wrap gifts properly, it was quite amusing to Hermione to watch as her friends would get frustrated as to why it wasn’t all smooth and nice like hers. 

Ginny had given her a stack of books, books she had never even heard of before, which was rare. It was magnificent, she couldn't wait to read all of them. She shuffled through all of them, excitement humming in every bone in her body. "I love them so much! Thank you Ginny, really."

"Anything for you babe," she grinned at her. 

"My gift for you is back at the apartment, it's too big to bring here," Hermione winked at Ginny. 

"Too big? Hermione, what did you get me?" 

"I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?" She acted mysterious. Her attention was suddenly brought to the buzzing in her back pocket. She pulled out the source of the buzzing, her phone. She had received a text from an unknown number. 

**_12:35 P.M_ **

_ Merry Christmas _

_ -D _

"There is no way..." Hermione shook her head at her phone. “No fucking way.”

"What? Let me see!" she snatched Hermione's phone out of her hand and read the text. "What the bloody fuck?" Anger and confusion spread on her face. 

“So let me get this straight, after failing to text me after our original date, he finally decides to text me after I see him kissing another girl?” Hermione grabbed the phone back and put it in her pocket without responding. He shouldn’t get the satisfaction of an instant response after the stunt he pulled. 

“That’s a dick move, but I’m not one to give advice on this. Let’s be honest here, I crave the attention so I would probably respond if that were me,” Ginny had a guilty look on her face. 

“I know you would,” Hermione let out a slight chuckle to relieve the tension she was feeling. 

She looked down at her hands and just thought. Thought of why he would text her, because he knew she saw him kissing that other girl. Thought of why he teased her like this. She knew what his move was, to let her see that he had other options to make him all the more hard to get. But she wasn’t going to be the one chasing, lord no. She was going to make him work for her, that’s how this was going to work out. And if he didn’t chase her far enough? Oh well, means he wasn’t good enough in the first place. 

"Come on, let's get going. No need to mope over boys. It's Christmas for fuck’s sake!" Ginny grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the shop without giving her a chance to finish her coffee. She dragged her into downtown, never letting go of her wrist like she was her hostage. 

“Where the hell are you taking me?” Hermione whined. 

“You’ll see. Lord, do you ever stop complaining?” Ginny rolled her eyes and dragged her a couple more blocks. She brought them to an ice skating rink. 

“Ginevra! You know I’m horrible at ice skating! Remember what happened last time?” 

“How could I ever forget you eating shit on your ice skating date with Ron? That memory will forever live in my head.”

“Why do you always get me to do these types of things?” Hermione groaned. 

"Because you need to have fun more often, you aren’t adventurous enough. Now let’s go, my treat," she grinned as she paid for the both of them. They put on their skates and stepped out onto the ice. The minute she started to go, Hermione slipped and fell right on her arse. 

“I fucking told you I was horrible!” She struggled to get back up, requiring the assistance of Ginny just to keep her balance. Ginny started laughing at her, so when she reached a hand down to help Hermione back up, she pulled her down with her. 

"HEY!" Ginny yelled at her. 

“If I’m going down, you’re going down with me,” a devilish smirk spread across Hermione’s face at the pride of her mischievous stunt. They both laughed as they both got back up off their arses. Ginny held her hand and helped her keep balance while they went around the rink in circles. She was starting to get the hang of it, but she still had to focus so that she would maintain her balance. 

“You know, this is kind of fun when you aren’t falling,” Hermione’s chest started to warm up at the joy she was experiencing. Being able to just slide on the ice, each stroke blending into the next to create a cohesive rhythm. 

“See what happens when you just let loose and have fun?” 

They ice skated for about an hour, then went and got hot chocolate and headed back to the apartment. They put on cozy Christmas pajamas, ignited their fireplace, and turned on Home Alone. Hermione gave Ginny her gift, a new vanity to do her makeup and hair at. She had been wanting a new one, saying how hers was too small for all the stuff she had. 

"Hermione, oh my gosh you didn't have to! It's marvelous!" she ran over to her and gave her a big hug. "Thank you!" 

"Of course Ginny,” she hugged her back tightly. 

They spent the night celebrating Christmas with the boys. They made eggnog, watched movies, and just enjoyed each other's company. Just like old times. Harry had given Hermione a new notebook and some sketching pencils, and Ron gave her an espresso machine. 

The boys left, and with Ginny passed out on wine and eggnog, Hermione was left alone in her bed. She sat there for a couple moments, debating on whether or not she should answer him. What was there to gain from answering him? Attention? She groaned at her predicament, but hesitantly, grabbed her phone. Staring at his name and text, it made her feel something. Just a little tingle in her stomach, a little flutter of excitement. It was enough to talk herself into answering. 

**_11:43 P.M_ **

_ Merry Christmas. Hope you had a good one. _

_ -Granger _

He responded a couple minutes later. He was continuing the conversation, which she had stupidly thought wouldn't happen. She decided to play along with it, despite her mind telling her not to. 

**_11:47 P.M_ **

_ Hope you recovered from your hangover. From the looks of it last night, I'd be surprised if you didn't throw up. _

_ I managed to hold it in , haha. Saw you had a fun night.  _

_ It was alright. Would've been better if I was with you. _

_ What? Your friends aren't entertaining enough? _

_ Not as entertaining as you that's for sure.  _

_ Got any plans for New Years?  _

_ Depends who's asking...  _

_ Bring your friends over to the Upper East Side, my friends and I are throwing a party. _

_ Sorry, I think I actually have other plans now that you ask ;) _

_ Yeah right, I’ll send you the address when we get closer.  _

_ Who said anything about me going to this party? _

_ I did :) Wear a dress. _

_ So you get to decide my plans AND what I wear, huh? _

_ See you there.  _

_ Goodnight Granger. _

_ Goodnight Malfoy.  _

Hermione threw her head back on the bed and buried her face in a pillow, muffling her screams. How had she gotten herself here? Earlier today in the coffee shop, she had told herself she would make him chase her, but here she was, letting him invite her to his party, and agreeing, kind of. Was the girl going to be there? She had so many questions, but they were obviously going to go unanswered. 

She finally drifted off to sleep. She didn’t dream of the forest. In fact, she didn’t dream at all. She woke up in the morning to find Ron, Harry, And Ginny already all in the kitchen. Ginny and Ron were fighting over the pancake batter, arguing about how much flour to add. 

"Rise and shine princess!" Harry yelled over the siblings’ bickering. 

"What's the occasion?" Hermione questioned. 

"Does there always have to be an occasion for friends to make breakfast together?" Ron scolded sarcastically while death gripping Ginny’s wrists to keep her from adding more flour to their pancake mix. It was quite comical to watch, spare flour shooting back up into their faces and all over their shirts. 

“Both of you are doing it wrong, give the bowl here,” Hermione walked over and pushed them out of the way, taking the cooking into her own hands. They obliged and stood back, knowing Hermione was the best chef out of all of them anyways. 

“What can’t the Hermione Jean Granger do?” Harry curtsied. 

“Ice skate,” Ginny let out such a loud laugh that it sent her to the ground gasping for air. Ron joined her, holding his stomach as he tried to breathe through the giggle fit. 

“You Weasleys are something else I swear,” Hermione rolled her eyes as she poured the pancake mix onto the pan to cook. 

They all sat around the circular table and munched away on the fluffy pancakes. They were heavenly. 

“So, uh, we have plans for New Year’s Eve I guess,” Hermione stabbed at her breakfast, refusing to make eye contact with any of them. It was embarrassing enough that she had texted him back after the show he put on on Christmas, let alone agree to attend his party.

"You? You made plans? For all of us?" Ginny looked at Harry and Ron, and they all burst out laughing. “And where in the world are we going? The library?” 

"Fine, I guess you don't want to go to a party in the Upper East Side....." Hermione finally made eye contact with them, slowly putting her fork to her mouth and taking a slow, prideful bite. 

They all stopped dead in their tracks, their loud laughing immediately silenced. 

"Upper East Side?" they said in unison. 

"Mhm. If you don't want to go, that’s fine, I can go by myself," she teased. 

"No! No! We will all be going!" Ron exclaimed. 

"That's what I thought," Hermione smirked. She took a victorious bite, proud knowing that she had earned that invitation, no matter who it was from. The Upper East Side was considered the upper echelon, the elite of New York. That was where all the important parties happened, large gatherings filled with important people. For regular people from Brooklyn to get an invitation to one of their parties was a big deal, it meant you had the right connections. 

"How did you get us into a party in the Upper East Side?" Ginny raised an eyebrow in suspicion. 

“Yeah, I’d like to know that as well,” Ron leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, his eyebrows furrowing in suspicion as well. 

"Malfoy, he texted me last night and invited us all."

"I knew you would text him back,” Ginny smirked. 

"Oh, shut it!” she threw her napkin at her. 

"The girls are fighting!" Ron and Harry mimicked them and laughed. "A party is a party, doesn't matter who it is!" 

“Seriously though. Hermione, you managed to find yourself a rich lad, props to you!” Harry tipped his head in acknowledgement. 

"I suppose so. He told me to wear a dress, so dress decently alright?" she told them all. 

They all nodded their heads and carried on with their regular conversations. Hermione couldn’t focus though, she was far too concerned with what was going to happen on New Year’s Eve. She didn't know what to expect. So many questions were running through her brain, but she tried her best to not let it distract her too much. If she was too worried, she would be awkward, and she wanted to be as loose and sociable as possible when the day came. 

Hermione excused herself and went back to her room. She flopped on her bed and buried her head into her pillow. She let out a muffled scream and then gathered herself, taking a deep breath. She couldn't fool herself, she was extremely nervous. She was even more nervous about the whole situation with the girl. She would probably be at the party, if she was his friend. She was intimidated by that. Hermione shouldn't have felt intimated, but nonetheless, she did.

Whatever was coming, she had to stay open minded and positive. Don’t get too attached, but don’t be shut off. Don’t be too flirty, but don’t be a prude. This was all new territory for Hermione, and she didn’t know if she was ready to dive in head first into this world of romance and dating. It had always been safe with Ron, childhood best friends that were comfortable and already knew each other. But with Draco, it was all but safe. She hardly knew him, and was already being roped into his world and doing things she never thought she would have. 

She just wanted her emptiness to be filled. The growing void of loneliness that had been nagging, the growing void that no one else knew about. The darker side to her that everyone around her had failed to recognize. She never knew why she felt the way she felt, or what the reasoning behind these demons was. But nonetheless, they were there, and they were worsening. 

Feeling guilty, she rummaged through her sock drawer until she found the small white box buried within. No matter how much she told herself it wasn’t good for her, she couldn’t help it. She had developed a dirty habit as a result of dirty thoughts, a result of the dirtiness she felt on the inside. 

She pulled out the small, cylindrical stick along with a lighter and walked over to sit by the window. Lighting up the cigarette, she took a deep inhale, and felt the immediate release. The release of her darkness, leaving her mouth with the cloud of smoke as it exited her flush lips. 

This was her guilty pleasure. 

Her friends knew her to be Little Miss Perfect. The girl who always babysat while they were drunk, who never let herself completely go and have fun, who strived to play by the rules. She was far from that. She was broken, and had no idea how in the fuck to get rid of the brokeness. So she found her release elsewhere, in private. 

All of the expectations and pressure slowly left her with each puff of smoke she would inhale, and then exhale. She stared out at the bustling streets of Brooklyn, wondering if this new addition and excitement to her life would be good for her. It had to be right? There was not too much that could make herself feel worse than she already did. He was a chance she was willing to take if it meant she would no longer have to be enslaved by her own thoughts and conscious. 

She wanted to take a chance. 

  
  



	5. 04

4 days later, it was New Year's Eve. 

Hermione and Ginny were in their room, helping each other get ready. Well, it was more Ginny helping Hermione get ready. She had gone and bought Hermione a dress without giving her any say, saying ‘Oh Hermione, I know dresses best, leave it to me!’. Of course, Ginny had gone all out. Yes, it was stunning, but it was so out of her comfort zone. It was a deep red, satin slip dress with a slit on her right thigh. The neck-line and spaghetti straps exposed her prominent collarbone accented by the simple diamond choker, the open back falling just above her back dimples. The red lipstick and smokey eyeshadow painted onto her face was far too bold, but Ginny had insisted. Hermione was never this dressed up, she felt foreign in her own body. 

"Damn Mione, you look fucking hot!" Ginny eyed her up and down, and Hermione immediately wanted to cover up. Was it all too much?

"Oh shut it, look at you!" Ginny was wearing a long-sleeve, black, shimmery dress. Her hair pulled back into a high, slicked back ponytail meant business. She was not messing around.

"Keep flirting with me, and I just might have to take you out,” she gave Hermione a suggestive wink. 

"I don't know what I would do without you…” Placing the back of her hand on her forehead, Hermione pretended to swoon. “Oh I know, I would live in peace, that’s what I would do!" Hermione’s lustful gaze shifted into a devilish smirk as she threw a pillow at Ginny. 

"Fuck off! You know you love me!" she grabbed the pillow and threw it back at Hermione. She just barely dodged it, and the two girls burst out into an uncontrollable laughter. No matter how old they got, they would always act like children with each other. 

Hermione got off the bed and walked over towards Ginny, pulling her into a tight embrace from behind. "Guilty," she chuckled. 

Hermione pulled away, and without warning, Ginny jumped up and grabbed Hermione's hand, pulling her out of the room. "Come on now, we gotta meet up with the boys."

The girls walked out of their apartment and into the hall where the boys were already waiting. 

"My, who are you two?" Ron teased. Harry hit his arm and gave him a scolding look. Ron looked back at the girls and gave them a shrug, a small smile spreading on his face.

"You two look stunning!" Harry's jaw dropped when he saw Ginny. 

"And you boys look quite dashing,” Hermione curtsied, Ron replying by pushing her over so she stumbled. Everyone burst out laughing. 

“Alright, enough dicking around, let’s go get fucking drunk,” Ginny grabbed Harry’s arm and started pulling him outside. 

As they were walking out the building, Hermione felt a buzz from her phone in her little bag. She pulled it out, seeing a text from none other than Draco. 

**_9:00 P.M._ **

_ 988 5th Ave Penthouse, New York, NY 10075 _

"What the hell?" Hermione looked down at her phone, dumbfounded. 

“What is it?” Ginny rushed over to Hermione, grabbing the phone out of her hand. “Holy fuck, your man is filthy rich!”

“Where’s the party?” Harry’s grin stretched from ear to ear. 

“It’s that 5th Avenue Penthouse right in the heart of the Upper East Side, the one that overlooks Central Park and the New York City skyline,” Hermione responded. She was still shocked, how did she manage to get an invite to this place? Was this all real? 

"Oh, he’s loaded. Hermione, did you meet some infamous drug lord or a mafia member?" Ron raised an eyebrow, but was unable to keep his suspicious look for long before he burst out laughing at his own joke. 

"Yeah, something is fishy here. You mean to tell us that you randomly saw this guy in a coffee shop and hung out with him, and he just happened to be a multi-millionaire?" Harry exchanged a look with Ron and they eyed Hermione. 

"What! We had a connection, I just thought he was nice that was all!" Hermione defended herself. 

"They're just jealous, it's okay. Go get that bag!" Ginny hyped her up. 

Hermione just laughed and rolled her eyes. She swore Harry and Ron were Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum, always having something stupid or funny to say. Or Dumb and Dumber. Either pair was an accurate representation of the two of them. 

They flagged down a cab and all piled in. Hermione couldn’t help but be nervous. The nerves hadn’t really hit her until this moment, where she could see the environment shifting around her. The buildings slowly appeared more and more expensive and posh as they drove closer to his penthouse. It was just a reminder of how new this world was to her, and how much of a change and risk she was taking on this boy. 

They finally arrived at their destination. Hermione drowned out the excited chatter of her friends, only listening to the clinking of her heels on the linoleum floors inside the lobby of the building. They entered the elevator and rode it up to the top floor. The knot in her stomach grew infinitely bigger, she needed something to calm her nerves. She would give anything for a smoke right now, but she couldn’t risk it with her friends here. Alcohol would have to do, something she thought she would never have to say. 

When they reached the penthouse, they were greeted by two large men dressed in black in front of the doors. They towered over Hermione. How exclusive was this party? 

“Name?” the one on the right spoke out. The deep voice echoed down the hall and vibrated through Hermione’s body, snapping her out of her quiet trance. 

“Hermione Granger, and these are my friends,” she looked at him nervously. There was a slight chance Draco could have been fucking around with her, and hadn’t really put her on the list. The thought of that scared her, and she prepared herself for the possible embarrassment while the man flipped through his list to look for her name. 

“Alright, come on in,” the man opened up the double doors and they all walked inside. Hermione’s heart was beating out of her chest, but she wasn’t focused on that anymore. She was now focused on the atmosphere around them. 

"Bloody hell, would you look at this!" Ron gasped as they stood on the upper level of the penthouse. They looked down at the party from the balcony in which they had entered on. Hermione was awe-struck. 

Bodies filled the dance floor, champagne glasses gripped tightly in their hands. Flashing strobe lights gave the appearance that everyone was dancing in slow motion, the loud music pounding so loud she could feel it in her heart. 

"You scored yourself a good one 'Mione," Ginny intertwined her fingers with Hermione as they walked down the stairs to the main level of the party. The penthouse was huge, complete with an outside balcony overlooking New York City and Central Park. 

They all walked over to the bar, and within seconds, shot glasses were already being handed to them. 

“Compliments of the host, drinks are free all night long,” the bartender nodded his head at them in approval. They all looked at each other, and without any more hesitation they downed the shots. Hermione waved her finger up at the bartender and she was given another shot, which she downed without hesitation. 

“Goes hard for one night, and is now an adequate drinker? I can respect that,” Ron teased her. 

“I’m nervous, I need it,” Hermione felt her nerves start to cool down. The unknown alcohol, possibly vodka, was flowing through her bloodstream, destroying any feelings of tenseness or apprehensiveness. 

"Well, look who decided to show up after all," she heard a familiar deep voice chuckle from behind them. 

The four of them turned to the source of the voice. Draco stood tall in the middle, stunning in his all black suit. She couldn’t help but look him up and down. She didn’t mean for it to be noticeable, but she was greatly mistaken when she reached his head and saw a smug look painted across his face. Butterflies fluttered all throughout her abdomen. Next to him were his friends from the pub on Christmas, including the girl. Well, off to a great start. 

"Where are my manners?" He took an effortless step forward towards her friends. He shook each of their hands, but when he reached Hermione, he did something far different. 

He snaked his hand around her body and placed his fingers on the small of her back, the tips of his fingers grazing her exposed skin from the open back of the dress. She gasped only audible for her and Draco, the electricity from his touch spreading throughout her entire body. He bent his head down and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, sending even more shock waves throughout her body. His touch did something to her, even if it was the slightest and most gentle touch. He pulled away from her, and with his tongue rolled at the side of his cheek, he winked at her. 

"I'm Draco Malfoy," he put his hand up to his chest, and then motioned for his friends to come over and greet them.

"Oh so we're being formal!" one of the boys chuckled. "Theodore Nott, but you can call me Theo," he winked as he shook everyones' hand. 

"Blaise Zabini, pleasure's all mine," the other boy said. His smile was just as charming as Theo and Draco’s. My, she had never seen a more attractive group of friends, all apologies to Ron and Harry. She still loved them to death though. 

"Parkinson, Pansy Parkinson," the dark haired girl smirked. Hermione couldn’t help but feel self-conscious, the girl was gorgeous. She had a certain look to her, a look that screamed “I starred in multiple award winning Hollywood films!” She could pull Mia Wallace off for a Halloween costume very well, she seemed like it fit her perfectly. 

Hermione wondered if Draco's friends had seen her on Christmas Eve at the bar. She hoped to God that they didn't, she had slightly embarrassed herself when she had to get carried out by Ron. She didn't want her first impression to be a drunk girl that couldn't properly hold her alcohol, so tonight she wanted to get in their good graces. 

“Say, why don’t we all do shots?” Theo exclaimed as he waved down the bartender. 

“I like you already mate,” Ron patted Theo on the back and gave him a nod of approval. 

“Nothing better to bond people than alcohol, am I right?” Blaise stepped over and grabbed himself a shot, and so did everyone else. 

Everyone clinked their glasses and downed their shots. 

“Hermione, you might want to slow do-” Harry started to say but was cut off by Ginny smacking him on the back of his head. He turned to her with a bothered look on his face, but when Ginny gave him ‘the look’, he immediately softened and turned to Hermione, sending her an apologetic smile. 

“I love this, another group that drinks like us. We’ll have to party with each other more often!” Pansy clapped her hands together in excitement. Everyone cheered and nodded their heads in agreement. God this girl knew how to please everyone and get them to like her, she was damn charming. She knew Hermione was invited by Draco, and how they met… right? 

“Enjoying the place?” Draco looks down at Hermione. She turns to face him, so it’s just the two of them talking apart from the group. 

“It’s fucking gorgeous,” Hermione slaps her hand over her mouth. “Language, sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” he let out a slight chuckle. She couldn’t help but notice the toothpick he was twirling in between his teeth at the side of his mouth. The way the corner of his mouth pulled up just slightly in a smirk. 

“Is the place yours?” She finally looked away from his lips and met those grey eyes. Those fucking grey eyes. She could stare at them all day. 

“Why? Interested in coming back already?” Draco raised an eyebrow at her. 

“What? No, I’m just curious,” she felt her face grow hot, leaving a tint of pink on her freckled cheeks. 

“I’m only teasing you,” he let out another laugh. God he was cheeky. “It’s technically my parents, but since they’re in the UK and I’m here, the place is all mine.”

“So you throw parties here often?” 

“You could say that,” he took a small step closer, lessening the gap between them to a couple of inches. His thigh brushed on hers, and she let out a little gasp. He looked down at her, biting his bottom lip ever so gently. Her breath hitched in her throat, her heartbeat quickened. 

“Let’s all go dance!” Pansy shouted. Their moment was broken when Ginny grabbed her wrist and pulled her away with the group. Empty shot glasses littered the bar, they had done more shots while her and Draco were talking and she hadn’t even noticed. As she was being pulled away, she turned around to look at him. He was leaning his arm against the bar, shot glass in hand, legs crossed. He raised the shot glass at her with a smirk and swallowed it all down, never breaking eye contact. 

Hermione then disappeared into the crowd of dancers and lost sight of him. Drunken souls around her, she was being swallowed by the sea of adrenaline and hormones. Music bumping in the air, lights flashing all around them, it was straight out of a movie. 

Fuck it. She started dancing with everyone. Swaying her hips to the rhythm of the music, throwing her hands in the air, she was having a damn good time. It would’ve been better if he would be out here, she wondered where he disappeared off to. 

The alcohol boosted her confidence and apparently her balance too, as she was able to dance in her heels for what seemed like hours. 

“I need some air, I’ll be outside,” Hermione yelled over the music into Ginny’s ear. Ginny nodded back at her, too busy dancing against Harry to even look at her. Ron was with some other random girl, and so was Theo. And then there was Blaise and Pansy dancing together. So, was Pansy not a thing with Draco? Was she with Blaise? What was going on?

She pushed out of the crowd of people and walked outside to the balcony and looked at the view overlooking New York City. The balcony itself was beautiful, with roses and vines hanging on the wall and railing, illuminated by lights. 

Out in the distance, she could see the night sky illuminated by the tall skyscrapers. The skyline of New York City was beautiful at night. The sheet of green from the trees covering Central Park was like a sea of green. She enjoyed the loneliness for a bit, listening to the muffled sounds of the party combined with the peace of nature. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. 

She was startled when a pair of large hands wrapped around her waist from behind. She gasped at the sudden embrace by a stranger, but she knew better than to think it was a stranger. It was definitely him. 

"A pretty girl like you shouldn't be out here all alone," he rested his chin on the top of her head and took a deep breath.

"Well, I’m not alone anymore, am I?" she chuckled under her breath. 

"So I see you have a sense of humor along with your good looks," he pulled her closer, she was flush with his chest. The way his fingers dug into her hips excited her, she imagined what else they could do. 

She tilted her head to the side so she could see him through her peripheral vision. “Jealous?” 

“What? Am I not allowed to appreciate things without being jealous?” Draco let out a small laugh. 

“No, I don’t think so,” Hermione let out another chuckle and turned her head back to the skyline. 

He removed his chin from the top of her head and dipped his head down, his lips brushing against her ear. She gasped, and goosebumps all over here. His breath down her neck tickled. 

“No?” He whispered into her ear. 

“No,” she shook her head gently. Hermione was enjoying this little game. Her taunting, she knew it would earn a reaction out of him. She didn’t know how she knew, but somehow she just had a feeling he got off on control and power. 

Suddenly, he whipped her around and placed his hands on either side of her, gripping the balcony railing. He trapped her in his little space, trapped her so tight that their chests were pressed together. 

"Say no again, and see what happens," he looked down at her. His eyes were filled with lust and desire. They weren't gentle, it was slightly intimidating. So Hermione was right, he did get off on control and power. 

She bit her bottom lip slightly, and he pushed himself even closer to her. He nudged his leg in between her thighs, asking for permission, and she obliged. They were so close now, faces inches away from each other. She could feel his minty breath against the tip of her nose. 

“Don’t get all timid on me now, love. I said say no again,” his smirk disappeared, and was replaced by an intimidatingly hard expression. She took a deep breath. 

“No,” she fluttered her eyelashes up at him innocently. He suddenly moved his hand over her throat, gripping it with purpose. She gasped as his cold rings dug into neck, just above her choker. She couldn't look away from his eyes, they were mesmerizing, and oddly familiar. 

"One minute until Midnight!" they heard people shout from inside the manor. 

He glared down at her, taking his free hand and wrapping it in a fistful of curls at the nape of her neck, pulling her head up. He didn't make another move. He just held her there, killing her with anticipation. 

"10...9...8...7..." People cheered from inside. 

He dipped his head down and began to kiss her neck. He wasn’t gentle with it, he was being punishing. He sucked on her skin, leaving a trail of angry, purple bruises as a punishment for her disobeyment. 

"6...5...4..." His grip on her throat tightened, and with the hand tangled in her hair, he jerked her head to the side, giving him full access to her neck. Her eyes fluttered shut as he licked a gentle trail from the bottom of her neck all the way up to her ear. 

"3...2...1..." 

He pressed his lips against her ear and whispered, "Happy New Year's Granger."

"HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!" everyone screamed. Fireworks boomed behind them and lit up the starry night sky with an array of colors and patterns. 

Draco wrapped his arms tightly around Hermione and smashed his lips onto hers. The instant his lips met hers, it was like her own fireworks went off inside her. She felt a burst of excitement and arousal as their lips interlocked. She pulled him in closer, running her hands along his back. Her lips parted slightly, and he wasted no time shoving his tongue into her mouth. She opened her mouth wider, allowing him access. She ran her fingers through his soft hair, over his back and shoulders, anywhere she could touch to get more of him. She pulled away to take a quick breath, but was quickly brought back in when his hand grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her in. 

Hermione was too caught up in the moment to watch the fireworks booming behind them. Too caught up in his embrace. Too caught up with his lips pressed against hers. She forgot where she was for a second, all she could sense was his body and his lips. The feeling of his arms wrapped around her, pulling her in close. The feeling of his warm, minty breath on her face. She wanted this moment to last forever.

The two finally pulled away from each other, gasping for air. Hermione glanced into the window behind them, looking to see how the party was doing. To her horror, Ron, Harry, and Ginny were all standing in front of the window, all grinning widely and giving her nods of approvals and thumbs up. Hermione's cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, realizing they had probably just witnessed her moment with Draco. 

“Time to go,” Ginny mouthed. Well, guess this moment really couldn’t last forever. 

She stood up on the tips of her toes and wrapped her fingers around his neck. She leaned into his ear and whispered, "Happy New Year's Malfoy.”

She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and turned around, starting to walk towards the door of the balcony. She had not even made it one step before she felt his hand wrap around her wrist and yank her back within his vicinity.

He gripped her by the throat and met her lips once again. She let it go on for a couple of seconds, but then pulled away, smirking. She stood there for a moment, slightly out of breath. He dropped his hand from her throat and caressed her cheek. She shut her eyes for a second, then turned and walked away. 

She stopped just before the glass door and turned her head to look over her shoulder, "Goodnight Malfoy.”

She saw him out of the corner of her eye. He was wiping the corner of his mouth with his thumb. He had a seductive smirk on his face, being lit up by the fireworks still going off behind him. God he was absolutely gorgeous. 

She walked out of the balcony and back into the penthouse towards her friends, who were waiting for her at the top of the upper level. 

"Hermione Jean Granger, you fucking tease!" Ginny wrapped her arm around Hermione's waist and led them towards the front doors. 

"For fuck’s sake, I can't believe you guys saw that!" Hermione shook her head and let out a breath of frustration. 

"Oh don't worry, we only saw the end," Ron winked at her. 

“But we can see the aftermath of your fun clearly,” Harry pointed to Hermione’s neck. She had nearly forgotten he had marked her all over. She instinctively put her hands over her throat in a sorry attempt to cover them up, even though they had all seen them already.

“Don’t be shy Hermione, I think it’s wonderful you’re finally getting the action you deserve,” Ginny pulled her in tighter. 

“Agreed, it’s about time,” Ron chuckled. 

They all left the party and took a cab back home. Back to Brooklyn. Back where their apartment wasn’t as glamorous as Draco’s was. Hermione immediately jumped into her bed and crashed. She was too lazy to even change, so she just slipped off her heels and choker and drifted off to sleep. She had quite a night, and things were about to get a whole lot more interesting.

  
  



	6. 05

Hermione woke up with an odd burst of energy. She felt refreshed, and happy to be awake for once. Still in her dress from the previous night, she sprang out of bed and changed into a white knit turtleneck and some dark jeans that hugged her tightly. She bounced her way out of her room and into the kitchen where Ginny was already waiting. 

"Welcome to 2003! Covering up your hickeys I see," Ginny pointed to the turtleneck Hermione had thrown on. She had almost forgotten she had an array of purple bruises scattered along her neck and collarbone, the turtleneck was a subconscious choice. 

"Because I should totally go around town displaying them for everyone to see,” Hermione rolled her eyes as she walked towards the coffee pot to pour herself a cup. 

"We ran out this morning. I drank the last of it, sorry!" Ginny toasted her cup to Hermione as she took a large swig. 

“Ginny! You’re supposed to let me know when we are close to running out so I can go and buy more beans so we don’t have this exact problem,” Hermione scolded in a half-joking manner. She honestly didn’t mind going into town, she felt giddy enough to go on a little adventure. 

“Sorry! Sorry! It slipped my mind!” 

"I’m only messing with you. I'm gonna run out and go grab some coffee. I'll be back in a little," She grabbed her black leather coat off of the telephone chair and slipped on her platform combat boots. “Bye Ginny!” 

Hermione took the long way to the coffee shop. She let the gentle snowflakes fall down and sprinkle into her hair, onto the tip of her nose. She let the cold breeze graze across her rosy cheeks, pink with lust and excitement. 

She ran through the events that occurred last night in her mind. She remembered the feeling of his hands on her, the way his fingers barely grazed her skin and made her tingle. The feeling of his hand wrapped nicely around her throat, cupping her cheek like he never wanted to let go. The feeling of breath tickling her face as they caught their breaths from kissing. 

The butterflies in her stomach fluttered with no remorse. She wanted to see him again. She couldn’t wait to be pulled into his arms, for him to whisper into her ear things only they would know. God, she was already liking this boy far too much for her own good. Would it bite her in the ass? 

Hermione finally made it to the coffee shop and ordered her cappuccino with no complications. She didn’t want to spend too long there, so she took her drink outside to sip on the way back to their apartment. Just as she turned left out of the shop, she noticed a pair walking towards her very direction. She couldn’t make them out quite clearly, but when she squinted her eyes, she was immediately taken aback. 

The platinum blonde hair nearly jumped out at her, she could recognize him anywhere. 

But who was with him? The pair neared closer, and she was finally able to make out his companion. 

Pansy. 

For the love of God was she able to ever get a break from this girl. When Hermione said she wanted to see Draco, she definitely did not mean like this. Sure she had no right to be jealous, but it still stung. No he wasn’t hers, but she thought their little “dates” had meant something. Guess not. 

She had excused the Christmas kiss, but this? This was getting a little suspicious. 

She turned on her heel and began to stomp off in the other direction, as far away from the pair as possible. Her previously happy mood was soiled, she didn’t feel sunshines or rainbows anymore. Back to the cold, grey, sadness. As usual. She didn’t even bother looking at where she was walking. She just glared down at her small hands gripping the coffee cup for dear mercy. She was paying no attention to her surroundings, so when she bumped into a tall stranger’s chest, she immediately jumped back. 

"I am so sorry!" Her coffee cup had spilled out of her hand and all onto her white sweater. Luckily, her coffee hadn’t stained the man’s sweater. She looked up at the subject of her accident and gasped. Theo Nott. One of Draco’s friends. God, were they everywhere? Would she ever get a break? 

"Leaving so soon, darling?" he questioned. She looked up at him and simply raised her eyebrow. 

"I’m sorry, I’m not really in the mood right now, I have to get going if you’ll excuse me,” she sidestepped to try and get around him, but he only matched it by stepping right in front of her. 

“Woah, woah, woah! I’ve never done anything to you! No need for the sour mood,” he pouted. “What’s wrong, princess? Something is obviously up if you’re running away with a full cup of coffee.”

Hermione didn’t answer. She just took a deep breath and turned her head around, looking to see Draco and Pansy walk right into the coffee shop, his hand on her lower back. Dammit. 

“Ah, I see the problem now,” he stroked his fingers on his chin as if he was deep in thought. 

"Yeah, it seems the two are pretty friendly. I wouldn't want to get in the middle of that, so I’ll let them be" she shrugged. 

“Hey! Hey! I know you aren’t giving up just like that!” Theo put his hands on Hermione’s shoulders and shook some sense into her. "For the record, I hardly know you, but I'm Team Hermione. I don't even know if there are teams yet, but I've decided what team I'm on.”

"Theo, I really appreciate the sentiment, but there aren't going to be any sides if he keeps going around and kissing her! I'm not gonna put myself through the petty drama of trying to be Number 1 Side Chick instead of Number 2," she giggled in self-pity. Humor to cope with the hurt. Humor to cope with the pain. That was the way she coped. Humor. 

"Alright, I’ve decided that I like you. Someone has to be captain of this ship, so come on, let's go!" He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and started pulling her back towards the coffee shop. Considering he was much taller and larger than Hermione, she couldn’t put up a good fight besides dragging her feet into the snow in the sidewalk to try and slow him down. He was dragging her straight to her death. 

"No! Theo! I’m not going back there!" Hermione’s cheeks flushed red. She was far too embarrassed to be seen by Draco right now, considering he was with Pansy. He should truly be the one embarrassed, but for some sick, twisted reason, she felt she was interrupting them. 

He ignored her protests and grabbed the remnants of her coffee cup, throwing it into a nearby trash can.

"What the hell was that for?" She stopped dragging her feet in the snow, and Theo finally stopped too. She tilted her head up and to the side, glaring at him. 

"You’re a little feisty one, no wonder he likes you,” Theo chuckled, pulling Hermione in tighter and rustling the top of her head as if she were his little sibling. “Don't worry, I'll get you another one.” 

“Okay fine, but can you please tell me why we are going back there? We can’t just go hang out somewhere else?”

“It would be a shame for you to go around in a badass outfit like that without anyone seeing it, don’t you think?" He winked. The flattery made her cheeks turn hot. 

"You are something else Theodore Nott,” she shook her head and chuckled under her breath. 

"You'll thank me later, trust me," he snaked his arm around her shoulder once more, giving her a reassuring squeeze. He walked them back into the coffee shop, not dropping his arm around her, which surprised her. Was Theo really helping her make his own friend jealous? Weird dynamic, but she wasn’t complaining. 

He ordered them two coffees, paying as an apology for being the wall she ran into. The minute they received their drinks from the barista, that damned deep voice spoke out from behind them.

"Nott?" Draco questioned. 

Theo and Hermione both turned around slowly, building up the anticipation. 

“And Granger…” Draco immediately caught sight of his friend’s arm around her shoulder, his eyes growing cold and dark. Hermione noticed he was not completely innocent either, standing there with his fingers intertwined with Pansy’s. Draco noticed Hermione glaring at their hands, and he quickly let go of her hand. His mouth opened as if he was about to question why the pair was together here, but Nott spoke out before he could. 

"Malfoy! Funny seeing you here!" he shook Draco's hand, finally letting go of Hermione’s shoulder. He then turned to Pansy, "Ah, Parkinson! Of course, the dynamic duo," he chuckled. 

"Granger! I didn't know you were friends with Nott," Pansy said with too much enthusiasm. Far too much enthusiasm for someone who was caught holding hands with Draco in front of his date from the previous night. Odd. 

"Yes, we are quite good friends! We decided we would get coffee and run into town for some errands, isn't that right Hermione?" Theo glanced down at Hermione with the world’s biggest grin. He was putting on a fantastic show if she was being honest, he was a natural born manipulative liar. Scary, but useful if for the right reasons. 

The idea that her and Theo were on a first name basis confused the hell out of Draco, because it was painted all over his face. He wasn’t even trying to hide his surprise at this point. Hermione took this as a victory, but it wasn’t over just yet. She had to maintain her cool for just a little while longer. 

"Yeah, Theo is very good company actually. Great conversationalist and very funny," Hermione looked up at him and smiled. She got a real good look at him. He wasn’t bad looking at all. Hell, he was quite attractive to say the least. 

"Well, we best get going. You two enjoy yourselves," he winked at them and grabbed Hermione's waist, pulling her out of the shop before she had a chance to say goodbye herself. She restrained herself from looking back, she needed to appear unbothered, when she was far from that. 

“So, while we are out already, have any real errands to run?” 

“I do actually need to buy coffee beans, but that’s besides the point right now. When you said we were going back in, you didn't mention the plan was to flirt with me and make him jealous!" Hermione hit his shoulder. 

"Hey, hey, take it easy Hermione! You saw the look on the man's face!" Theo defended himself. He rubbed his shoulder, pretending as if she had just shot him. 

"You are so dramatic," she laughed and rolled her eyes. 

"Oh, I know. But my plan worked, did it not?"

"I guess it did," she dropped her head slightly, accepting defeat. Theo was one smart fox, and his plan to make Draco jealous did actually work. She just wondered where it would get them though, if he would accept his losses and move on or pursue the chase. 

“Well that’s that! Let’s go get you some coffee beans!” He grabbed her by the wrist and started yanking her on the sidewalk, forcing her to shift into an awkward run-walk. He stopped abruptly, causing her to crash right into his back. 

“Ow! Dammit!” Hermione rubbed her sore nose that had crashed right into his spine. 

“You may be my friend Hermione, but lord you are not an athlete!” He burst out laughing, clutching his stomach to try and catch his breath. 

“Fuck you Theo! I can run just fine! I just wasn’t trying, that’s all!” Hermione crossed her arms and popped her hips, she would not be insulted like that. 

"Oh yeah? Then come on, race me to the grocery store!" He teased. 

"You are a little child! But if you insist," a devilish smirk arose on her face as she lined up next to him. “On three?” 

"On three," he nodded his head, a mischievous smirk growing on his face as well. 

“One.”

“Two.” Hermione bolted away, sprinting the fastest her boots would let her. 

“You dirty little cheater!” Theo yelled as he ran after her. 

"I’m not even sorry about it," she yelled over her shoulder as she continued to run away. Obviously, he caught up. But he smoked her. She stood no chance. She finally reached the grocery store. Granted, she was panting like a dog and could feel horrid blisters forming on her ankles, but she still made it. 

“Had a head start and couldn’t even win! Pathetic!” He teased her. 

“Shut up! Let’s just get my coffee beans and go,” she pushed her way past him and into the store. 

“You know they aren’t anything serious, right?” Theo pushed the shopping cart. He insisted they get one, even if she just needed a bag of beans. He said ‘it’s fun to push’. She had rolled her eyes at the comment, but let him do it because it made him happy. 

“Sorry?”

“Parkinson and Malfoy. They aren’t anything serious. Just friends that have hooked up a couple times.”

“Hand holding in public doesn’t seem like nothing to me,” she fidgeted with her fingers as they strolled down the aisle. 

“That’s just Parkinson, she’s like that with everyone, and I mean it. Hell, she kisses me every time I do something nice, even if it’s as little as letting her ride shotgun in the car.”

“Really?” Hermione stopped walking and turned to look at Theo. “Do you really mean that? Because I’m not going to waste my time going after someone who’s just going to end up playing me,” her eyes shined with sincerity and loss. She didn’t know what she was getting into, but she sure as hell didn’t want to get into anything with someone who was casual with other girls. 

“I mean it Hermione. She even holds my hand. When I tell you that you have nothing to worry about, I mean it. I’m sure she just doesn’t know that you genuinely like him. She probably thinks you guys are just hooking up,” he shrugged. 

“We aren’t even hooking up!” She furrowed her brows and drew her lips into a thin line. 

“No judgements here!” He laughed. “I’m just saying, once she knows you two are serious, if you get to that point, then she’ll be no problem. I can promise you that,” he smiled at her, and opened up his arms, inviting her in for a hug. 

She walked into his embrace and he pulled her in tight. “Thank you Theo,” her voice muffled by the fact that her face was buried in his chest. 

“Anything for you, new friend,” he placed his chin at the top of her head. 

~*~

Hermione laid in bed, reading her book and drinking a cup of hot chocolate. 

Animal Farm. 

She found it particularly interesting how someone could equate the life of animals on a farm to Czarist Russia and Communist Russia. How even things so seemingly simple can go so wrong and provide such a deeper meaning for the bigger picture. Literature had always been Hermione’s strong suit in school, she was practically raised by novels. Applying their concepts to her very own life, she couldn’t remember a time when she couldn’t read. 

She brought the mug up to her lips and took a slow sip of the hot chocolate, the temperature of it slightly burning her tongue. She blew on the liquid in the cup, hoping to cool it down. Just as she released a tiny breath of cool air into the mug, she felt her phone buzz. 

A text from Draco. 

**_9:23 P.M._ **

_ I'm outside, come out now. _

Why the hell was he here? Had her little show with Draco actually worked? She didn’t even get any warning though, she was here laying in her plaid pajama pants and hoodie. She didn’t want to keep him waiting, so she just threw on a pair of fur lined boots and practically sprinted outside. 

There he was. Leaning against the railing of the steps leading up to the doors of the complex. 

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" Hermione walked up to him cautiously.

"Come with me," he grabbed her wrist aggressively without a chance for her to protest and pulled her away from the doors of her apartment complex, leading her towards the side of the building. She couldn't help the thought, but she wondered if he was going to kidnap her, or murder her. Either would be quite bad. Quite bad indeed. 

He stopped when they turned the corner and were at the side of the building. He stepped closer to her, and she instinctively backed up. Of course, she had backed up right into a wall so she was trapped. Just lovely. Her chest started to heavy and she felt her breaths growing shorter. He looked down at her, and he didn’t look one bit happy. 

"You want to tell me why the fuck you were so cozy with Nott?" The venom in his voice rolled off his tongue so smoothly, like it was easy for him to be cruel. 

"I'm sorry, what?" She couldn't help but laugh. It was ridiculous that he had summoned her at this hour to yell at her for hanging out with Theo, when he knew damn well he was doing the same thing with Pansy. 

He took a step closer, and they were now close enough to where their chests were almost touching. She looked up at him in complete and utter confusion as to why he was so angry. She had expected a little bit of jealousy, but not full blown anger. 

"I know you heard me Granger, what the fuck were you doing with Nott?" His hands were on either side of her head now, and he was glaring down at her, his eyes full of rage and darkness. 

"What the hell?" She broke their gaze and looked down, laughing again. Laughing to cope with the pain. She was scared, and hurt at the audacity he had. He couldn't be serious, could he? Her lack of seriousness angered him, because without warning, he punched the wall right next to her head. It startled her, and her heart rate increased significantly. She could feel her breath hitch in her throat and her chest grow considerably heavy. 

"Answer the damn question."

"For fucks sake, we were only hanging out like you and Parkinson were! There should be no problem!" She gasped out. Her hands clenched into fists at her side, and her forearm started to tingle a little bit. Her emotions were starting to get the better of her, she needed to get them under control before the floodgates burst open and all her emotions boiled over. 

"Well you see, it is a fucking problem. I have a problem with it," he snarled. His face was inches away from hers. She could feel his minty breath on her face, it tickled the tip of her nose. 

"Well I had a problem with you kissing her on Christmas but you didn’t see me complaining about it, did you? No! Because we barely know each other and there's no reason to be jealous over someone you don't have a claim over!" Her raised voice was strained, she was unable to truly vocalize her emotions at the fear that he would grow even angrier. 

"Is that why you're hiding the hickeys I gave you? So you can go around and get all cozy with other guys, including my friends?" 

"Why are you turning this around on me? You invited me to that party after you know damn well I saw you kissing her! I’m the one who has a right to be mad here," The anger in her started to increase by the second. The tingle in her arm had graduated to a sting, and she knew if they kept this up, it would start bleeding. Her fingertips started to tingle too, this was a new addition. 

"Don't act all innocent, you probably fucked Nott when you two were ‘hanging out’, why else would you two be so friendly?" His deep voice was threatening. There was a tone of poison and anger, she refused to let him act like this. 

“The audacity you have,” her anger had gotten the better of her. She chuckled maniacally, and without thinking, she raised her hand to slap him across the cheek. But before she could, he grabbed her forearm, the arm where her scar was. She immediately cried out in pain. 

He immediately let go and stumbled back. Gripping her arm, she slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor. 

She raised her sleeve up to reveal her scar. It was gushing blood out of more than just the ‘M’ now. The word ‘Mud’ was clearly visible. The blood dripped onto the snow, tainting the innocent white a dirty red. 

"What the fuck is that?" He said cautiously. She could tell thoughts were racing through his mind. ‘Did I do this?’ ‘How did this happen?’. She didn’t care what he thought, this was hers to deal with. Sure he didn’t cause the scar, but him provoking her sure as hell made it open up more and bleed, and right now, she didn’t want to look at him. 

"Don't act like you care now, Malfoy," she tried to wipe the blood off, but she was only smearing it and making it worse. It was ugly. An ugly reminder of whatever it was that had caused her to receive that scar. 

"I'm not playing around, Granger. What the hell happened to you?" He took a step towards her. He was still a couple of paces away, she guessed by the distance of his voice. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She braced her good arm on the wall and stood herself up, finally meeting his eyes. They were widened with what looked like genuine concern and anger carried over from their argument. “Just like you would like to know if I fucked Nott, correct?” 

He didn’t say anything. His gaze moved down to her arm, staring at the bloody mess. Hermione shoved down her sleeve, despite the stinging from the irritation of the fabric on the scar. Her fingertips still felt odd, she just figured it was because of blood loss or something of that nature. 

“Well here’s your answer, no. No, I did not fuck Nott. Hope that was the answer you were looking for,” she threw him a big grin. “Now, if that’s all you came here for, I hope I was of service to you. Goodnight, Malfoy,” Hermione nodded her head and turned on her heel to start walking back to her apartment. She felt his eyes burn into the back of her head as she walked away. 

“Granger?” 

She paused momentarily, then turned her head over her shoulder. He looked tense, standing there all confused and slightly irritated. Hopefully irritated at himself, she hoped. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you," his tone was flat. No emotion, no venom or concern. It was dead. He was staring at her arm, the blood that had seeped through her sleeve and made an ugly crimson stain. Hermione pulled her arm behind her back in slight embarrassment. 

"You didn't know," she turned her head back and stared down at the blood that had dripped onto her shoes. She took a deep breath and fully walked away. 

She hurried back into her apartment and immediately ran into the bathroom. She turned on the shower, and immediately let out a sob. She didn’t want Ginny to hear anything, she didn’t want to worry her over something that wasn’t worth worrying over. She slumped to the ground against the door and held her face in her hands. Hermione had hoped the sounds of the shower drowned out her sobs. 

She cried, and cried, and cried. Cried until she was no longer focused on the burning pain in her arm. She wasn’t even crying about Draco, she didn’t quite know what she was crying about. 

She undressed and looked at her frail frame in the mirror. The years had not been kind to her, her crippling mental state slowly eating away at her physical health. Her collarbones were more prominent, her hip bones jutted out, her ribs visible from the front. She was turning into a walking corpse, and the smoking wasn’t kind to her insides either. 

She forced herself to look away from the mirror, afraid that if she looked any longer, she would start to see a completely different person. 

Hermione stepped in the shower and let the water run down her arm. The hot water seeped into her wound, burning her from the inside out. The physical pain was oddly comforting, a distraction from her emotional pain. It was a sadistic cleansing of her sins. The sins that had caused her to receive that scar. She watched the crusted blood color the water dirty red-brown as it washed down the drain. 

Turning off the water and wrapping herself in a towel, Hermione finally left the bathroom and walked over to her dresser. Dressing herself in only a bra and underwear, she rummaged through the drawer until she found her pack of cigarettes and a lighter. 

She walked over to the window and sat down, the breeze of the cold winter night sending shivers down her practically naked body. She pulled out a cigarette and held it up to her plump lips as she lit it. The deep inhale sent the smoke travelling down her esophagus and into her lungs, and it was like she was okay again. Her anger and sadness from tonight was being released with each puff of smoke she blew out, a sweet release. 

Staring up at the stars, Hermione wondered if Draco was doing the same. If he was also looking up at them, admiring their beauty to distract himself from whatever he was going through. She wondered if they were alike, if maybe he would be able to understand her problems, because it seemed as if no one else did. 

Nonsense, she told herself. Hermione had known him for less than a month, so why was she so deeply longing to be emotionally connected to him? 

He was like a drug. No matter how bad or toxic he was, she found herself being drawn to him. 

She thought about how quickly his emotions changed. How one minute he was questioning, the next he was angry, the next practically emotionless. It was morbidly intriguing. She had wondered what fueled him. Maybe she could be right, and they did have something in common. 

Whatever it was, she needed to know more. Her mind was aching for it, the knowledge of who this boy was and why so much about him seemed so familiar. 

  
  



	7. 06

It had been three weeks since the confrontation between Hermione and Draco, and they hadn't talked since. None even one little text. 

Their silence was eating away at her curiosity, but she didn’t want to provoke him or seem desperate. She was going to wait until he reached out, she had decided. If he texted her, then he was still interested. If not, oh well time to cut her losses and move on. 

Though deep down, she was waiting for the day where she would see his name pop up in her phone. 

She was at work, almost done with the day, when she heard her phone vibrate on the desk. Her heart instantly fluttered and her stomach dropped, she really hoped it was him. Hermione jumped up out of her chair and took a couple paces, too nervous to see who texted her. She swallowed, and finally picked up her phone. 

The source of the text was not who she was expecting one bit. 

**_9:12 P.M._ **

_ got ur number from malfoy, its pansy _

_ we're going out tonight, ill pick u up right now, where are u? _

Why the hell was Pansy Parkinson texting her? And where the hell were they going? Did she not have a say in this? She stared at her phone for a good couple of minutes, too nervous to respond. This was so out of her comfort zone, and she had no idea what to expect. She finally shook away her nerves and responded. 

**_9:15 P.M_ **

_ Going out where? And with who? _

_ don't worry about it, just send your current address _

_ I can’t just meet you whenever you want me to go? _

_ lord you are difficult. just trust me, now send ur damn location _

_ 3428 Wall Street, New York, New York 10005 _

_ k, see you soon ;) _

Hermione’s hands trembled as she tried to pack up all of her things and lock up the building as quickly as she could. She didn’t know exactly when Pansy was coming, and she didn’t want to keep her waiting, because quite honestly, she was scared of the girl. 

She finished everything, then walked out of the building, where a yellow cab was already waiting at the curb. Pansy had her head out the window, a big grin plastered on her face. She waved to Hermione, and she apprehensively waved back. She hurried over to the cab and hopped in. 

"So, are you gonna tell me what this is all about?" Hermione questioned. The cab started moving, there was no chance of her getting out of whatever this was now. She studied Pansy carefully, she looked like she was ready to go clubbing in her little black dress. Wait a minute...

"I’m taking you to have some fun of course! No time for further questions, we need to get you ready," Pansy rummaged through her bags and pulled out a dress. "Put this on."

"We're in a cab!" She tried to protest, Hermione was not a particular fan of public nudity. 

"Oh it's dark, he can't see. Let's go! Get changed!" Pansy began to unbutton Hermione's blouse and before she tried to protest again, she realized she was already here, so she might as well just shut up and cooperate. She rolled her eyes and unzipped her pencil skirt. 

"Nice underwear choice. You were prepared for one thing at least," Pansy mumbled as she took away Hermione's work clothes. 

Hermione’s cheeks went red as she looked down and realized she was wearing a matching black lace set. For once, she had decent luck and wasn't wearing cotton briefs and a mismatched bra. 

She held up the dress to get a good look at it. It was a deep green slip dress, similar to the one she wore to the New Year's Party. But this one was shorter. Way shorter. 

“How is my bra going to work with this?” Hermione was dreading having to wear this, but with her clothes already in Pansy’s possession, she really had no choice. 

“It won’t,” Pansy smirked. “Now take it off!” She started to undo Hermione’s low bun, fixing her curls with her finger and some hairspray. Hermione handed her bra to Pansy hesitantly. It was a nice bra, she wanted to make sure she would get it back. 

“Alright, makeup time. Come closer,” Pansy grabbed Hermione’s hips and pulled her directly in front of her, sitting sideways in the back of the cab. 

She felt brushes and powders being applied all over her face, but she didn’t really know what Pansy was doing to her. The anticipation killed her. 

“And you already have heels on, so you’re done now! Look!” she handed her a mirror. Hermione took it and examined her makeup. 

"Pansy, what did you do to me?" she touched her face, and eyed the stranger staring back at her. She had given Hermione black smokey eyeshadow with a thick wing on the outer corners of her eyes with black eyeliner in her waterline. She had a deep pink blush and highlighter on, and nude lipstick to top it all off. Even Ginny had never done makeup this drastic on her. 

"I just enhanced your already hot features, that's what I did. Now come on, we're here," Pansy grabbed Hermione's hand and led her out of the cab. Pansy walked them to a nearby trash can, where she took Hermione's work clothes and bra and threw them in. 

"What the hell? Those were my clothes!" Hermione tried to reach in and grab them, but Pansy grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards the building before she could retrieve them. 

"Honey, you won't remember where you put them later on, it's better to ditch them. If you really miss your clothes, I’ll buy you replacements."

Hermione groaned, but Pansy was right. She was scared though. She knew that Draco’s friends were hard partiers, seeing the New Year’s party they threw. This would not be a half ass night, but Hermione didn’t know just how hard she was going to have to go. 

They walked up to the front of the nightclub. There was a line of people waiting behind a rope barrier, but Pansy walked right up to the bouncer. She smiled at the bouncer, and he nodded his head, moving out of the way to let them in. Lord this was going to be interesting. 

"We are going to have so much fun I can feel it!" she squealed. "I want to apologize for our first interactions. I honestly didn't mean to get in between you two, I hadn't realized he was actually going for you. We used to just fuck around, nothing serious, I promise. You won't have to worry about me anymore!" She yelled over the sound of the loud music. 

Hermione was taken back by this. Theo was right afterall. She felt horrible about misjudging Pansy, but she was here making amends with her now, so it was all in the past. She didn't have time to dwell on it though, because before she could respond, she was being pulled towards a table. 

"Pansy! You actually brought her? He’s going to murder you, I hope you know that," Blaise’s mouth was opened in awe. 

"I told you she was fun!" Theo exclaimed as he jumped up to pull Hermione into a hug. “Haven’t seen you in a while. My, you look fantastic!” 

“Better wipe that drool off your chin Theo, you know Draco can be possessive,” Pansy scolded him. 

“Oh, she’s not his just yet. Let me compliment my friend for fuck’s sake,” he let go of Hermione and winked down at her. 

"Let's see how fun you are Granger! Pansy, did you bring the shit?" Blaise motioned for Hermione to sit on the couches with them, and after hesitating for a moment, she sat down next to Pansy. 

Pansy pulled a small bag out of her purse, along with a rolled up dollar. Hermione's eyes widened at the sight of the white powder. Coke. Sure she had smoked weed with her friends before, but she had never done anything like this. And with people she hardly knew? Her eyes widened and her stomach twisted in a knot. 

"Oh not that look already. We aren't gonna poison you!" Pansy cut a line and snorted it up her nose with no difficulty whatsoever. She took a deep breath and wiped her nose off. 

Then Theo, and then Blaise. They all cut themselves a line and snorted it, like they all do this regularly. She had nothing to worry about then, right? 

"I just hope you guys know I would normally never be doing anything like this," she said nervously. 

"Oh, we know!" They all said in unison. 

Hermione took a deep breath, and then snorted up the fine, white powder. She felt all the blood rush to her head. She tilted her head back to wipe the powder off, but as she was doing so, she heard an angry voice approaching from the side. 

"What the fuck?" Draco walked up to the table and stood there with a look of complete awe. Hermione whipped her head to the side to look at him, quickly trying to wipe the evidence off from her nose. It was no use though, he had probably already seen her do it. 

"You guys fucking brought her here?" He looked down at the table and saw the coke. "And you fucking gave her coke?" He was angry. Very angry. She could see by the way his shoulders tensed, his lips pulled into a thin line. It reminded her of their argument, and she remembered that they weren’t currently talking to each other. 

"Yes I brought her here, do you have a problem with that? Well, I don’t care, because I like her," Pansy shot back at him. 

"Same, the girl is actually kind of fun," Blaise nodded in agreement. 

"You already know I like her, but we don't have to get into that now," Theo chuckled. Draco shot him a dirty look, and his laughing quickly stopped. 

"Unbelievable, all of you," he shook his head and let out a disappointed laugh. 

"Well, it’s good to see you too Malfoy. Might as well pretend that you’re happy to see me," Hermione looked up at him, his jaw was clenched tight and his eyebrows were furrowed angrily. 

“Hello, Granger,” he rolled his eyes and snatched the dollar out of her hand. He cut a line and snorted it effortlessly, just like the rest of them. 

“Now that that’s out of the way, let’s go dance!” Theo shot up off the couch and grabbed Hermione’s wrist, pulling her up with him. 

“I got her, mate,” Draco gripped Theo’s shoulder, not letting him take Hermione any further. Theo shot his hands up innocently and let Draco escort her to the dance floor. The rest of the group came along, cheering. 

His hand on her lower back sent tingles up her spine, she missed his touch dearly, no matter how mad she was at him. 

The flashing lights were bright, and she could feel the music in her chest. Draco was behind Hermione, running his hands down her stomach and hips. She raised her arms to hold his neck, and they moved to the rhythm of the song. 

It was like they had never gotten into an argument. Their movements were fluid and natural. It was like they fit together perfectly, their bodies made for each other. 

He gripped her hips tight, holding her flush against him. She whipped around to face him, and ran her hands along his chest. His black button-up was unbuttoned at the top, revealing his chiseled chest. His sleeves were rolled up just below his elbows, revealing a tattoo on his forearm. It was a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth, wrapping around itself. It was on his left arm, just like her scar. 

She stared it at, swearing she had seen it before, but she was brought back from her deep thought when she felt him run his fingers through her hair, pulling her face in close. They were inches away from each other, so close that their legs intertwined, her chest up against his. 

Hermione bit her lip, unable to contain the desire she had for him. Something flashed in his eyes, and he immediately crashed his lips into hers. It was rough, desperate. She kissed him back with the same passion, pouring her desperation for him into his lips. 

She was taking in his scent: mint, strong cologne and teakwood. It was masked by the smell of sweat and alcohol, but it was still strong enough for it to flow all through her nose. 

His scent was intoxicating, just as addictive as her cigarettes. 

He moved his lips to her neck, right under her ear. He kissed her passionately, sucking on her skin, leaving bruises to replace the ones that had faded long ago. She tilted her head up in pleasure, giving him even more access to her neck. 

She was already giving him so much, despite their unresolved tension. She needed to be drunk for this. She pulled away from him, leaving him with the slightest bit of confusion. 

"Let's go get drinks," she grabbed his wrist and led him off the dance floor towards the bar. Just as she was about to sit in a stool, she felt her hips being yanked and pulled into his lap on a stool. She let out a tiny giggle at their position. 

"Four shots please," he asked the bartender. 

The bartender poured them and then gave a nod at Draco, "On the house." 

He nodded back at the man, and handed two shots to Hermione. She downed them without hesitating. She really needed to calm her nerves no matter how good of a front she was putting on. She waved at the bartender, "Three more please!"

"Three more? You've already done a line, plus two shots, I think you’re good for now,” he rubbed his hand along her thigh, the butterflies she felt in her stomach slowly inching lower and lower. 

The bartender gave her the shots, and before Draco could take them away, she shot them into her mouth. She slammed the glasses down and shook her head down, she was not used to drinking this much in such a short period of time. 

"Too late," she smirked at him. "Let's go back," she hopped off his lap, but stumbled. She wobbled as she tried to regain her balance just to stand up straight, but once she managed it, she had the biggest grin plastered on her face, like she had just won an award. He looked down at her with concern. 

"I'm fine. Pinky promise," Hermione grabbed his hand and forced out his pinky, intertwining hers with his. She pulled him back to the dance floor and met back up with Blaise, Theo, and Pansy. 

"Looks like you are having fun, little one!” Theo clapped his hands for Hermione, acknowledging she never usually did anything like this. 

“I am indeed! Just did five shots with no problem at all!” Hermione beamed. She leaned down to whisper in his ear. “The grinch over here tried to stop me though. Don’t tell him I called him that,” she giggled. 

“You, my friend, are very drunk.”

“Never me! What’s drunk?” She said sarcastically, pleading innocence. 

Pansy grabbed Hermione without warning, “Let’s dance, give ‘em a show!” 

Hermione followed her lead, placing her hands on Pansy’s hips while Pansy ran her fingers through Hermione’s hair. The girls laughed and drunkenly danced. It was euphoric. The purple lights surrounding them flashed, the music blasting so loud she could feel it in her heart, the laughter of the boys watching them and cheering. Hermione had never felt more alive. 

"Ugh, I love you!" Pansy shouted at Hermione. She then pulled Hermione in for a quick peck on the lips. 

Theo and Blaise screamed like little boys while Draco stood there, shaking his head and chuckling under his breath. 

"I love you more!" Hermione shouted, going in for another kiss. This one was longer, considerably longer. Hermione pulled back and tilted her head towards the ceiling and laughed. When she brought her head back down and her gaze on Pansy, they rested their foreheads on one another while laughing. 

“I might just have to steal your girl, Malfoy!” Pansy sneered at Draco. “Hell of a good kisser!”

“Fuck off, Parkinson!” Draco chuckled. 

She never thought she would become good friends with Pansy, but here she was, kissing her like they had been best friends for years. 

The wonders that alcohol and drugs do. 

Hermione was having the most fun she had had in years, no offense to her friends. Something about Draco's friends was different, they were just livelier. It was probably the drugs and alcohol, but in general, they were bolder. They weren’t afraid to go out and do things with whoever they wanted. She respected the hell out of them for that. 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom, I will be right back!” Hermione shouted in Pansy’s ear. She wobbled away before telling Draco where she was going, she figured Pansy would tell him. 

After searching for what felt like forever, she finally found the bathrooms. She stumbled into a stall and collapsed on the toilet. She let out a sigh, finally able to take a breather. The alcohol and drugs were all hitting her, and she knew she was piss faced drunk. 

She stood up off the toilet and immediately lost her balance, crashing into the side of the stall with her head. She groaned as she rubbed the tender spot on her temple. She stumbled over to the sink where she sloppily washed her hands. 

“Here, looks like you need this,” she heard someone say next to her. Hermione turned to see a girl, no older than 21, offering her a cigarette. Her eyes beamed wide, and she took it without hesitation. 

“Thank you so so much!” Hermione smiled big at her. The girl lit it up for her, and she took a big hit, zeroing out the smoke. Hermione bolted out of the bathroom to find an exit leading outside. 

She found a set of stairs that led upwards, a big red exit sign above it. With the burning cigarette in her fingers, she walked up the stairs to the best of her abilities. Obviously, it was not very pretty, as she fell multiple times, scraping her knees on the cold metal. 

She reached a door at the top, and when she opened it, she was greeted with a large gust of cold wind. She hadn’t realized how hot it was from all the bodies inside until she was standing there, shivering in the January winter. 

She stumbled over towards the edge of the roof, where a metal electrical box was accessible for her to sit on. She hopped up on it, dangling her feet off the edge. She gazed out at the New York City skyline, admiring the contrast of the lively, lit up windows with the dark buildings. 

She smoked her cigarette in complete and utter peace, so much peace she almost forgot where she was for a second. It was like a whole other world up here. It was calm and peaceful, so quiet she could hear the humming of electricity from underneath her. But inside? It was chaotic and loud, filled with energy and bad decisions. 

She heard the door to the roof slam open, and she gasped at the sudden noise. Standing in the doorway was a drunk Theo. 

“Hermione! There you are!” He ran over towards her, tripping on the way. He had done more shots while she was gone. 

“You can’t tell them that I’m not where I’m supposed to be, shh!” Hermione held up her finger to her mouth and giggled. 

“Are you, are you smoking?” He looked down at the cigarette resting between her fingers, the cigarette she forgot to put out before he saw so he wouldn’t know. 

“You can’t tell them about that either,” this time, Hermione put her finger over Theo’s lips to shush him. 

He swatted her hand away, “Yeah, yeah. Our little secret, I understand!” He jumped up on the electrical box next to her and grabbed the cigarette, taking a hit. 

“Hey! Stealer!” Hermione snatched it back and took an even longer hit as if that somehow made up for the hit he had taken. 

“Feisty over your drugs! You have an addiction, don’t you?” 

“Do not!” She furrowed her brows at him. 

“Do too!” He pointed his finger at her. 

“Whatever. Just don’t tell anyone. I mean, not even Ginny knows!” She took a final hit, and then put it out. 

“Ooh, so I’m special!” He winked at her. 

“Shut up! Let’s go back now, we don’t want to get in trouble,” she hopped down from the box and immediately fell onto her knees, scraping them even more. Little trickles of blood poured out of the cuts and down her shins. Oops.

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to get in trouble by your little princess, now would we?” Theo hopped down, nearly falling. 

“My princess?” She looked up at him from the ground. 

“He’s yours, you just gotta tie him down,” he offered his hand to help her up. They walked back into the club and back to the dance floor, where they were all still partying. 

“There you are! I missed you!” Pansy rushed over to Hermione and gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

“What the hell happened to you? Your knees are all bloodied up!” Blaise exclaimed. 

“Shh! There’s no blood on my legs!” Hermione waved him off, tilting her head in Draco’s direction. 

“Oh! I get it! There is no blood on her knees, Draco. Her knees are completely normal and fine,” Blaise turned to Draco with a straight face. Hermione’s mouth opened wide in betrayal.

“I leave you for 10 minutes, and you manage to get hurt? Come on, let’s get you home,” Draco shook his head, rubbing his eyes. It was like he was babysitting a child. He grabbed her hand and tried to lead her out of the dance floor. 

"Wait! Not yet! I’m not done drinking," Hermione pleaded. She tried to pull her hand away, but instead she lost her balance and fell on the floor. 

“Oh, yes you are,” he groaned and picked her up by the arms. 

"One more for good luck!" Pansy yelled as she reached into her purse and pulled out a little bottle. She threw it to Hermione. 

Draco tried to grab it away, but she unscrewed the cap and chugged the unknown liquid. 

“Love you Pansy! I’ll miss you!” She threw the bottle back at Pansy and gave her a wink. 

"Fucking Granger, I swear. Let's go before you cause any problems," he took her away as she waved goodbye to her new friends. She liked them a lot, she wanted to see them again soon. Maybe even party with them. She would text Pansy again. 

They went to the table to grab her purse and his jacket, and then they were on their way. 

"I didn't want to go yet," Hermione whined as she was being pulled out of the nightclub. Draco had his hand wrapped around her waist tightly, making sure she didn’t run off or get lost again.

"I know you didn't, but it was time for you to leave, darling," he said matter-of-factly. 

He waved down a cab, and pushed her inside. He sat her so that she was leaning against his chest. Hermione ripped her purse out of Draco's hands and reached for her phone. She dialed Ginny. 

"'Mione?" she answered. 

"GINNY!" Hermione screamed. 

"Shh, keep your voice down," Draco mumbled as he rubbed her head. 

"Hermione where the hell are you? It's 2 A.M!" Ginny sounded concerned. She didn’t blame her. Hermione was never out this late, Ginny was in for a little surprise when she would find out what she was out doing. 

"I was out partying! Do you wanna know a little secret? I did drugs for the first time, shh!" she giggled. 

"Who are you with? Lord Hermione, I'm coming to get you right now."

Draco grabbed the phone from her and answered instead, "She's fine. I'm gonna take her back to my place right now, she can rest there."

"What the fuck did you do to her?" Ginny raised her voice at him. 

"Calm down, I didn't give her the drugs or bring her here. You can thank Parkinson for that. Let the girl live, she'll be alright," he sighed. He wasn't in the mood to argue with anyone, Hermione was already being a handful to deal with. 

"I swear to God Malfoy, if I hear that anything, and I mean  _ anything _ , has happened to her, it will be the end of you, do you hear me?" she yelled. 

"Yes, yes, don't worry. Goodbye now," he hung up the phone and put it back in her purse. "Are all of your friends so needy and worrisome all the time?"

"When it comes to me, mhm. I don’t do stuff like this," she winked as she put her pinky up to her nose and pretended to snort some more cocaine. “That’s why I had fun tonight.”

"Well good, because it's never happening again. Hope you got your fix," he said coldly. 

She moved herself off his chest and turned to face him, "You don't get to tell me what to do."

"You’re telling me you are going to go out with all of them again?" He raised his eyebrows at her. 

“Yeah I will, thanks for asking.”

“We’ll see about that one,” he rolled his eyes and turned his head so that he was staring out of the window. 

She groaned and moved towards the other end of the back seat, getting as far away from him as possible. She leaned her head against the glass of the window, and stared at the scenery just like he was doing. 

After what seemed like ages, they arrived at his grand apartment. He helped her out of the cab and into the lobby of the building, heading them towards the elevators. 

“My feet hurt, I need to sit,” Hermione complained. 

“You were just sitting in a car,” he looked down at her, his eyebrows raised. 

“Too bad,” she ignored him and slumped down onto the elevator floor. 

“The floor is dirty, you know?” 

“Theo was right, you are a princess,” she giggled from the floor. 

“He said what now?” His voice was clipped, but before she could answer him, the elevator doors opened to the top floor. Hermione ripped her heels off and dashed out towards his penthouse, heels in her hands. 

He made it to the door of his penthouse, where Hermione was already waiting, hands on her knees gasping for air. 

“You could be an Olympic runner with that stamina,” he said as he twisted the key into the lock. 

“Well that’s just rude!” Hermione placed her hands on her hips and pouted, offended at his remark on her running abilities. “I can run perfectly fine!”

“Sure you can,” he opened the door and led her towards his bedroom. She immediately flopped onto his bed, not caring that she was still in her dress and makeup. 

"Goodnight," she buried her face in the pillow, her body sprawled face-first across his bed. 

"Come on, let's get you in comfortable clothes first," he walked over to Hermione and lifted her back up. She groaned, but complied. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a large knit sweater and a pair of sweatpants. The sweater was dark green and grey, with a small patch of a snake in the corner. 

"Where's this from?" she asked curiously. 

"An old futbol team I used to play for," he handed it to her. 

She nodded in acknowledgment. "Pansy threw away my clothes and bra, so turn around."

“Do I even want to know?”

“So-” Hermione began.

“Actually, I don’t. Nevermind,” he shook his head and turned around to face the wall. She shimmied out of her dress and slipped on the sweater and sweatpants. The clothes engulfed her, obviously many sizes too big. She didn’t mind though, because the sweater smelled just like him. 

"Okay, you can turn around now."

He turned around and walked over to her. He looked her up and down and chuckled, "You look good in my clothes.” 

“Guess I’ll be keeping them then, thank you so much!” Hermione grinned. 

He untucked the covers and tucked her in, making sure she was comfortable. He walked back over to his dresser, and got changed. He undid the buttons of his shirt and tossed it to the side. His back was skinny, but chiseled. His pale skin seemed flawless. He then unlooped his belt and dropped his pants, leaving him in his boxers. It felt wrong for her to watch, so she looked away for a moment. She looked back and he was in grey sweatpants.

He started to walk towards the door, "If you need anything just let me know."

She nodded her head. She wanted to ask him to stay, but she didn’t want to push her luck. But she really wanted to. 

She wanted to be wrapped up in his arms, sleeping peacefully. She wanted the comfort of knowing he would be right next to her when she awoke. She just wanted him. 

He reached the door, "Goodnight Granger." He started to leave when Hermione called back for him, against her better judgement. 

"Malfoy?" she asked timidly. 

"Hm?" 

"Will you stay?" She was setting herself up for disappointment, she knew he would refuse. 

He hesitated for a moment, but to her surprise, he nodded his head and walked back towards the bed. He turned off the lamp and hopped into bed next to her. 

She turned over and scooted close to him. She rested her head on his chest, and he pulled her closer by embracing his arms around her waist. She snaked her leg over his thigh. 

She felt safe in his arms. The warmth radiated from his body and into hers, filling her with an unexplainable joy. A joy she had never felt before. And it was nice. It was nice being filled with joy and happiness. This was a feeling she could definitely get used to. 

She could hear his heartbeat, flat and even. She would feel his chest rise and fall with each breath he took, a reminder that he was alive, and that he made her feel alive. 

"Goodnight Malfoy,” she breathed out. 

"Goodnight Granger," he placed a kiss on the top of her forehead, and they fell asleep, intertwined in each other’s embrace. 

  
  



	8. 07

Hermione awoke to her body shivering, longing for a warmth she had previously had. She opened her eyes slowly to see why she had suddenly grown cold, and she gasped when she realized where she was. 

She looked around at the dark grey walls of the room, the black curtains blocking out the tiny rays of sunshine trying to peek its way through, the forest green silk sheets of the dark, oakwood four-poster bed she occupied.

She was in Draco's room, in his bed, in his sweater. But she was here, and Draco wasn’t, so where was he?

Yawning and stretching her arms as she walked, Hermione made her way over to the bathroom connected to his bedroom. She eyed herself in the mirror, studying her reflection carefully. 

She ran her fingers gently over the bruises he had left on her neck and collarbone, reminiscent of the ones he had left on New Year’s Eve. Last night was something she had never expected to do. 

She hadn’t talked to Draco in weeks, but somehow managed to get dragged to the club with his friends to do drugs and drink, and suddenly make up with him like nothing had ever happened. Sure Pansy had apologized to him, but technically Draco never did. So was all forgiven?

She was still left with so many questions and so much confusion, but she buried it all down deep as she loosely braided her mangled curls.

She walked out of the room and found her way to the kitchen. She found him at the island eating a plate of pancakes. He had on a pair of glasses and was reading something on his phone. Hermione’s breath caught in her throat. He had just woken up and still managed to look flawless, while she looked like a mess. 

"Morning," he mumbled while stuffing a bite in his mouth. His voice was deep and scruffy, and she found herself even more awestruck. 

"Good morning," she spoke out a couple seconds later. Her voice wavered slightly, and she hoped he was too occupied in his phone to notice. 

"There's a plate for you if you want some," he said without looking up at her. 

"Thanks," she walked over to the island and grabbed the plate, taking it over to the stool next to him. She grabbed the syrup and began to pour it over the stack of sweet, buttermilk pancakes. 

He was still shirtless and in his grey sweatpants, just as he had fallen asleep in last night. His blonde hair fell over his eyes messily, and Hermione couldn't help but stare. 

“Get enough syrup there?” He chuckled. 

“What?” Hermione looked down at her plate, only to see she had been pouring syrup over her pancakes the entire time she was staring at him. Her breakfast was now all soggy and spoiled by the pooling syrup. She groaned and pushed her plate to the side. 

“There’s leftover batter, I’ll make you some more,” he got up from the stool and walked over to the bowl of pancake batter. Hermione couldn’t help but stare at his large hands as they turned on the little stovetop, poured butter into the pan, and tilted the bowl to let the batter drip into the pan. 

The defined muscles on his bare back practically stared back at her, inviting her to keep looking and never break her glance. 

"What time is it?" Hermione asked. 

“Why? Do you have somewhere you need to be?" He flicked his wrist, jerking the pan up and tossing the pancake into the air, flipping it over. 

"I have work later this morning.”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, darling, but it isn’t exactly morning anymore,” he turned around to hand her the stack of freshly cooked pancakes. 

“What? What time is it?” Her heart rate quickened at the thought that she might be late for work. There was a little part of her hoping that he was messing around with her, but the thought that she would be late killed her. 

Hermione was never late for work. 

“It’s almost noon.”

“Holy shit! I’m so late for work!” Hermione jumped out of the stool. 

"How responsible of you," he shook his head and laughed at her. 

"This isn't funny! I need you to get me there now!" She marched over to him and hit him on the shoulder. 

"Relax, I’ll get you there," Draco rubbed his arm where she had hit him. "Go throw on your dress and get your stuff. I'll drive you to your apartment to get real clothes," he grabbed their plates and threw them in the sink. 

Hermione ran into his bedroom and slipped back on her dress. It was cold, so she kept his sweater on over. This would be fun to explain to Ginny, she couldn’t wait. She put on her heels, and found her phone, running back out into the hall. 

She ran into him on the way out, and of course, he was nonchalantly walking back to the room. His walk was drenched in arrogance and taunt, as if he was teasing her for being so worried about running so extremely late. 

"Take your sweet time, won't you?" She rolled her eyes. 

He didn't speed up or even turn around to look at her. Instead, he stuck up his hand and flipped her off. He disappeared into the room and locked the door. The audacity he had, he was starting to get on her nerves. 

He came back out in a black turtleneck, black coat, and black trousers. He looked good in all black, she couldn't lie. It brought out his pale skin, icy blonde hair, and piercing grey eyes. The color black was made for him.

He walked over towards the garage and pulled car keys out of his pocket. She stood there for a second, just watching him. She didn’t have a particular reason, he was simply pleasant to look at. 

"Well are you going to keep standing there and looking or, are you going to come?" 

She blinked her eyes and came back into reality. She hurried over to him, and got in the passenger seat of his car. His car was black, what a surprise. 

The whole car ride, she stared out the window, just taking in the scenery. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but more a comfortable silence, like they were completely comfortable just simply being in each other’s company. 

It was nearing the end of January. All the Christmas decorations had been taken down, so they were left with an undecorated and ugly winter. 

She didn’t particularly like winter. Christmas was her favorite time of the year however, no matter how contradictory that sounded. It was never about the weather. It was about the feelings. The feelings of holiday joy and cheer, the marvelous lights illuminating the city skyline and bringing happiness and promising prosper to all. 

Christmas was beautiful and warm. Winter was bare and cold. 

They arrived outside her complex, and Hermione jumped out without hesitation. "I'll be only 5 minutes, don't leave me!"

"I'll have to think about it," he teased her. She rolled her eyes and ran inside without retorting. She didn’t have time to go rummaging through her messy bag to find a key, so she settled for pounding for sweet mercy on the door. Not even a couple seconds later, Ginny opened it.

"Hermione! Where the fu-" Ginny started to question. 

"No time to talk! I'm extremely late for work!" She yelled as she ran into her room. 

“Are you wearing his sweater?" Ginny yelled back through the closed door of Hermione's room. 

"I'll tell you everything later, I promise!" She threw on her usual work outfit. She touched up her makeup, just enough to say ‘No, I did not go clubbing last night and no I did not partake in any illegal drug activity!’ 

She sprinted out the door and almost slipped as she descended down the stairs towards the outside. When she made it out, his car was missing. Of course he left her. 

"Fucking Malfoy!" She groaned loudly. 

"Relax darling, I'm just over here," his voice chuckled from the side. He had moved his car to taunt her. 

"You think you are such a comedian, don't you?" She stormed over to his car and rolled her eyes as she opened the door and slumped into the passenger seat. 

"Oh, but I am a comedian," he smirked. "Where do you work?"

"ThinkTech on Wall Street."

"So you're smart, I presume?" He turned to glance at her. 

"Something like that," she smiled at him. And just like that, the pettiness from him pulling the prank on her had simply disappeared. She found it hard to stay mad at him, because just being around him brought her a little bit of joy. 

This was what scared her the most though, She hardly knew him, yet she found herself depending her happiness on him, using him as a method of holding onto what little joy she had in her life. She was so tired of not being happy for so long, that the idea of someone finally being able to bring her happiness swallowed her whole. 

"And what do you do?" She was quite curious, considering the size and location of his house. His family obviously had a lot of money, but she wanted to know what it was they actually did. 

"Family business," he said matter-of-factly. Hermione grew suspicious that he gave her as little detail as possible. Her friends had made fun of her saying she was getting involved with a mafia member or a drug dealer, and now, she was beginning to think that it could be true. 

“Oh,” was all she said. Quite honestly, she didn't know what to say, he didn’t really give her anything to continue the topic of conversation. He drove her into the heart of downtown and arrived at her work. She exited his vehicle, but before she left, she bent down and leaned her head into the car. 

"Thank you, for taking care of me last night," she drew a faint smile and nodded her head. 

He nodded his head back at her in acknowledgement. "I'll see you around Granger." 

She stepped away from the car and watched him drive off. She rushed into her building and slipped in, claiming she had just come back from a lunch break. She hurried into her office and plopped down into her chair, letting out a big sigh. 

~*~

She finished her work, it had been especially exhausting today. All the mindless paperwork and phone calls were beginning to bore her. More and more busywork. She just couldn’t wait for the day when she could finally take over as CEO. 

Hermione packed up all of her stuff, and locked up the building. She was always the last one, but considering she had been extremely late this morning, she had stayed even later than usual to catch up on what she was supposed to have done already. 

The sky was dark, and so were the streets. The lampposts provided hardly any light, the darkness making her feel slightly uneasy as she made her way to the subway. 

As she embarked down the steps and underneath the streets of New York, she felt a knot in her stomach, similar to the one she had felt when that man had followed her. She tried to shake it off, but the uneasiness only grew stronger, and she felt like something was wrong. 

She looked behind her, and she had never wished more in any other moment that she was dreaming, and that this wasn’t actually real. 

There he was. The man that had followed her previously. That same man, with his dark grey hair, his pitch black eyes, his almost animal-like features. Except this time, he was closer. Much much closer. She didn't think she would be able to escape this time, considering last time was an extremely close call. 

The man was closing the distance between them, carefully and methodically stalking his way over towards her. Her heartbeat quickened with each sneaky step he took. She tried her best to stay calm, putting on a brave face so he wouldn’t see her fear as a weakness. She clenched her hands together in an attempt to stop them from trembling, but he was so close now that she could hear his deep breaths and low chuckles. 

"Why do you keep following me?" Her voice faltered even though she tried her best to not let it. She couldn’t help it, this man was evoking a fear in her like no other. 

He stopped walking and looked her up and down. He took a step forward, there was only 4 feet in between them. 

"My god, it is you," his eyes grew wide in awe, like he was looking at some rare animal species. His accent was British, and it was strong, he had to live there currently. Hermione’s had diminished in recent years, just like all her friends’ accents had. 

"I don't understand, do I know you?" Hermione raised an eyebrow. Thoughts were running through her mind. When she had escaped last time, the look on his face was like she had never seen before. The mix of horror, realization, and relief was unsettling. 

He took another step forward, closing the distance between them. He was close enough to touch her now. 

"I can't believe I found you," his voice was croaky and deep. He let out a maniacal chuckle, and it sent shivers through her body. "I actually found you. The Hermione Granger,"

"Ho-how do you know my name?" Horror struck her face and the tingling in her fingertips arose. She looked down at them, and like always, nothing about her fingers appeared out of the ordinary. Nothing was coming out of them, they didn't look any different. So why did they feel different? Why did it feel like all the blood had rushed down there? 

“How do I know your name?” He chuckled again, the bellows of his voice shaking her to the core. “How do I bloody know your name? Well I’ll be damned Hermione, who doesn’t know your name is the real question!”

He grabbed her chin, and turned her head from side to side, inspecting her. 

“I found you! Oh how happy he is going to be when I tell him,” he pushed her face away, but the feeling of his fingertips on her face couldn’t escape her. It was like he was still holding her, and she was at his mercy. 

“H-he? Who’s he?” Hermione stuttered. She was on the verge of tears. Not only did this man somehow know her, but he claimed so many others did, and that some man would be happy to know he found her. She was about to get kidnapped, she knew it. 

She tried to dash away, but he jutted out his hand and grabbed her arm, pinching right where her scar was. The screamed out in pain, and she felt a surge of energy rush to her forearm, blood seeping out of the entire scar, painting the letters perfectly. 

_Mudblood._

Suddenly, all her blood felt like it was being rushed to her brain. Her whole head was on fire, lights flashed before her eyes. Her whole body went limp, and she barely felt it when she hit the floor. The moment she hit the floor, her vision blurred, and she was no longer looking at the subway tunnels.

She looked around frantically. She was on a cold floor in a dark room. The room was large and eerie, only lit by the light seeping through the curtains and the faint glimmer of the extravagant chandelier on the ceiling. 

How the hell did she get here? Was this even real?

There were many people surrounding her, leaning up against the walls. She scanned their faces trying to see if she recognized any of them. She found the man that had grabbed her in the subway, leaning against the small with a grim smile on his face. She continued to study the people around her, until she stumbled upon someone even more unsettling. 

Draco.

He looked younger, far younger. He was maybe around 16 or 17, but he looked like absolute hell. His hands were trembling and there was a frantic look on his face. Next to him stood two people she could only assume to be his father and mother. There was a panicked look stricken across his mother's face, but his father was cold and reserved. 

Hermione didn't understand. This couldn’t be real, because time travel wasn’t real. Had this ever happened or was she passed out and dreaming due to hitting her head when she fell to the ground? Her questions stopped running through her mind when she felt a presence on top of her. She turned to look who it was, and there was a lady straddling her, pinning her down. 

The lady looked manic. She had black and white frizzy curls that were all tangled and flying all over her face. Her rotten teeth grinned at her mischievously, and Hermione had a very bad feeling about what was going to happen next. 

The lady then leaned down so she was inches away from her face, "That sword is meant to be in my vault at Gringotts, how did you get it?" she spat in her face. Hermione had no control over her emotions, and she started to whimper. Tears started streaming out of her eyes. She had no idea where she was, or what was happening to her. 

It was like she was a ghost in her own body, witnessing what was happening, but not being able to do or control anything. 

"Did you and your friends take from my vault?" she screamed at Hermione. She had a death grip on Hermione’s wrists, pinning her down so she was unable to escape or try anything. 

"I didn't take anything," she cried out. She turned her head away so she wouldn't have to look at the scary lady. "I didn't take anything!" 

"I don't believe it," she whispered. She moved towards her arm, and Hermione screamed out when she felt the pinch of a sharp object being stabbed into her skin. She felt a pain shoot through her entire arm as the tip of a blade cut into her forearm. The lady's hand shoved down Hermione’s head so she wasn’t able to struggle, and left her feeling helpless while she was being tortured. 

Hermione screamed out in pain each time the blade broke a new area of skin, leaving trickles of blood to drip down her arm and onto the ground. With each letter that she carved, a piercing scream escaped her mouth, followed by tears flowing down her cheeks. Hermione didn't understand who she was, and why she was doing this to her. 

The carving went on for what felt like hours, even though it could have been no longer than 10 minutes. She couldn't handle the pain, the emotional and physical trauma. It was all too much for her to handle, and the pressure of the lady on top of her only suffocated her even more. 

The lady then moved off of her, but she was far too weak to move or try and fight back. She laid on the cold, hard floor, completely and utterly useless. She faded in and out of consciousness, finding it difficult to keep her eyes open. She managed to focus her vision just enough to see what had been carved into her arm, and there it was. 

There it was, the word _Mudblood_ carved into her left forearm. Blood was seeping from the letters, trickling onto the floor. This was it, this was how she really got the scar, it had to have been. 

Unable to look at the fresh wound any longer, she lazily glanced over at the people who had witnessed this horror. And here he was, still watching her. She focused her eyes the best she could, and she could see how distraught and disturbed he looked. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles turned white. 

That was the last thing she saw as she faded out of the scene and came rushing back to reality. She sat up gasping for air, loud sobs escaping her mouth. All the light came back to her eyes and she was able to look around, despite the tears blurring her vision. Her chest heaved up and down as she struggled to comprehend what had just happened. 

The man was still holding her arm, but the look on his face was sinister. He smirked from ear to ear, but it was so eerie it felt like he could be faced with death and he would still have that blood-curdling look on his face. 

“What did you do to me?” She screamed in his face. She pushed him away, finally freeing herself from his hold. “What the fuck did I just see?” She cried out, holding her arm while the whole thing felt on fire. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. 

“In time, sweetheart. You’ll see,” he bent down and cupped her cheek. His blood-stained fingers left a bloody handprint on her cheek, and before he could make any more of a mess, she flinched her face away. 

“What the fuck did you do to me?” She screamed out again. She screamed so loud, it felt like her lungs and throat were bleeding. “Tell me what you did!” 

With one final, piercing scream, all the lights in the subway tunnel burst, sparks flying everywhere. Both her arms felt like they were on fire, unexplainable energy almost begging for a release.

He gave her a nod, and without another word, he turned around and walked away. 

“Come back here!” She tried to crawl and grab his leg before he could leave, but she was so emotionally and physically drained, she just fell onto her side on the floor. She let him get away, because she was too weak. She cursed herself for being so weak, she was useless, just like she had been when she got the scar. 

Stupid. Useless. Fucking useless. Weak. Real fucking weak. 

Hermione was reminded of all the reasons she hated herself. 

She crawled over to a wall, and held herself tight. She let out sobs and felt her whole body convulse in pain. She looked down at her arm, squinting her eyes to try and see the damage through the darkness that surrounded her. The wound looked like it had just been carved. The veins around it had become a prominent purple, and her hands were twitching. 

She trembled as she fumbled around her for her bag. She needed answers right this minute. She took out her phone and dialed Draco. 

"Granger? It’s late, what’s up?" She could hear him yawn on the other line of the phone. 

"Explain to me right this fucking minute why you were there!" She sobbed into the speaker. 

"What are you talking about?" His voice now sounded alert, good. She had his full attention now. 

"My fucking scar! Why were you there? Who were those people?" Her words were coming out a mile a minute. She couldn't slow down herself, she was gasping for air as she continued to scream at him. "Why didn't you do anything? You could’ve helped me!" 

The tears began to stream down her face as she violently sobbed. The darkness consumed her until she was unable to scream at him any longer. The pain overtook her, she lost the battle to her emotions. 

"Where the fuck are you right now? You're obviously not okay, I'm coming," she heard rustling over the phone and the sound of him grabbing his car keys. 

"No," she quietly sobbed out. "St-stay away from me. You let this happen to me," a subway car zoomed by and she jumped. 

"What the fuck are you doing at the subway so late? Don't fucking move, I mean it," his voice was far from calm. Quite honestly, it was anything but calm. His tone had hints of venom and irritation, but nonetheless, he sounded genuinely concerned. 

He hung up the phone, leaving her alone once again. She screamed as she threw it down on the ground, shattering her entire screen. She curled herself into a ball and held onto herself tight. She held onto herself for dear life, afraid that if she let go, so would her emotions. 

She was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to control herself any longer, that she wouldn’t be able to bury her pain. She was afraid that cigarettes would no longer suffice to bring her down, to calm her pain. She was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from giving into the urges and doing much more damage. 

She was afraid of herself. 

She didn't understand anything that was going on. The man had done something to her, planted an image in her brain, and she didn't know how. She thought her scar came from some bully in school, not some lady claiming that Hermione had stolen something from her. It was all too much for her to handle. 

She grew lightheaded, the world around her starting to spin. A small little nap, and she’ll be better. Then, all the pain will go away. A light nap and she’ll be good to board her subway and go home. 

She let the pain take her as her vision went blank, and she passed out. 

It felt like it had only been a second when she heard his voice yelling in front of her. 

"Granger! What the fuck are you doing?" He violently shook her awake. She opened her eyes and saw him all distraught in front of her, the same look he had when… when he let the lady hurt her.

The memories of what she had just gone through all came flooding back, and here she was again, letting the tears pour out of her eyes like the weak person she was. 

“It’s so dark, what the hell happened? Did you take something?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, but the minute he shined his flashlight on her, he scooted back from her. His eyes widened as he saw the state she was in. 

The pooled blood that had been had been smeared when she had crawled over to the wall, the bloody handprint on her cheek, the dried blood that had crusted on her now fresh wound, the shattered light bulbs, the shattered phone, her trembling knees and hands. 

“Granger,” all the venom and anger in his voice has subsided just like that, and he was close to her once more, cupping both her cheeks. 

She was too tired to fight with him, too drained to deny his touch and concern. She let him. 

"Granger," he gulped down. "Who did this to you, love?"

“I-I don’t know,” she looked down at the mess she had made. This was her fault she made such a mess. Her stupid blood that caused this. 

“Hey, don’t look at that, look up at me,” he gently lifted her head up, still cupping her cheeks. “This isn’t your fault,” his voice was soothing and calming, it began to wash away the pain and dread with each syllable he spoke, even if he couldn’t eliminate it completely. 

“Why did this happen to me, Draco?” She bit back the urge to sob again, because lord she was tired of crying. She was too tired to put in effort to feel something. 

“I’m not sure, but let’s get you home safe, and we can deal with that later, okay? How does that sound?” 

Hermione nodded her head, and she found her broken phone and bag, slinging it over her shoulder. She had lost far too much blood to be stable, so when she braced her arms on the floor to stand herself up, her knees buckled, causing her to wobble over. 

Draco stepped towards her and grabbed her, holding her up. She was too tired to protest. She was too tired to do anything. She didn't have it in her to confront him, or cry anymore. She just felt empty. Her head was spinning and she just wanted to be in bed, away from the world, under the comfort of her sheets. 

"Just relax, I’ll get you home safe," he whispered as he picked her up from underneath her legs. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him carry her out of the dark subway tunnel, away from the mess of her blood smeared on the floor and walls. 

She let him carry her all the way to his car, strapping her in the passenger seat. She stared out the window as he drove her to her apartment. That event had sucked all the energy out of her and she just felt empty. She felt his hand rub her knee in an effort to comfort her, but in this moment, she couldn’t feel anything except exhaustion. She was simply tired. 

They reached her apartment, and once more, he picked her up and carried her like a baby.

“Can you tell me what number you are?” He brushed her hair out of her face, trying his best to hide his cringe when he saw the blood on her even more clearly. 

“41,” she mumbled. 

He carried her all the way up to her apartment, and he pounded on the door when he reached Apartment 41. 

After a minute or so, she heard Ginny curse from the other side of the door, "Hermione! I thought I told you to rem-" 

She threw the door open in frustration, but was quickly shut up when she saw the sight in front of her.

"What the fuck happened?" Ginny yelled as Draco pushed past her, disregarding whatever anger she had right now.

"Where's her room?" He asked, completely ignoring her question. 

"No, you tell me right now what the fuck happened! There’s fucking blood all over her! What did you do?" She yelled at him, her face plastered with a look of disgust and anger. She had warned Draco to keep Hermione safe, and by the looks of it right now, it had looked as if Draco had let something happen. Hermione was far too gone to tell Ginny otherwise though. But now, her story time that she had promised Ginny earlier today was going to be a whole lot longer.

"God, never mind, I'll find it myself for fuck's sake," he huffed. He began to search around the apartment for her room. He finally found it, then gently laid her down on top of the covers. 

"Go get a wet rag and a bandage wrap," he ordered Ginny. 

“I want an expl-”

“Now,” he snarled. Ginny shut up, and without anymore hesitation, she disappeared to retrieve the requested supplies. 

Draco looked down at the horrible sight of Hermione. Her curls stuck to her forehead with sweat, blood smeared all over her body and face, her mascara smeared and running down her cheeks. It pained him to see her like this, she could tell. 

She could make out the way his lips downturned slightly, the faint wrinkles from his forehead as he furrowed his eyebrows, the softened look of concern in his eyes. Maybe he did care about her, even if it was the slightest, he still cared. Small victories, she thought. 

Ginny came rushing in and handed the supplies to Draco. He dabbed her wound with the rag, wiping away the crusted blood. The words had become clear now, and Hermione winced at the sight of it. She hated looking at it, and now she had hated it even more, knowing that what had possibly caused it was worse than she had previously remembered. 

And the thought that he was there and let it happen made the pain even worse. 

"Can you explain to me what the hell happened? I warned you to keep her safe!" Ginny questioned him. Her voice raised slightly at the last part. Hermione knew that she was only trying to protect her, and she didn't like seeing Hermione get hurt. 

"I did keep her safe, Jesus. She called me screaming and yelling nonsense and I found her in the subway tunnels like this, just all by herself in the dark," he said calmly as he wiped the blood off of her face. He didn't even look at Ginny, he was so focused on making sure Hermione was going to be alright. 

“So you don’t know what happened?” Her tone had softened, maybe too much in shock to spit back something at Draco. 

“No, she was too tired to tell me,” he wrapped her arm, finally covering up the disgusting wound that she was being forced to stare at. 

Hermione's eyes fluttered closed, she could finally rest. She was safe now, it was alright to go to sleep. She felt his hand brush her hair out of her face, and tuck her into the covers. She felt the weight of the bed shift as he got up off of it. She couldn't gather the strength to say thank you, even though she wished she could have. 

“It’s late, I’ll get going. I’ll try to find out what happened to her tomorrow,” he said. 

“I’m sorry for blaming you. I don’t know what happened, but I appreciate you getting her home safe,” Ginny said. 

“Just make sure she’s alright, and she gets everything she needs, okay?” 

“Of course.”

She heard them both exit the room and shut the door. With the click of the door, she took a deep breath and fell into a deep sleep. 

This was the most sleep she would be getting in a while. She knew chaos was just around the corner, and this was only the calm before the storm.

  
  



	9. 08

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter I've written so far!!! i'm really happy with how it turned out, the ending especially :) thank you for everyone that likes it so far, i'm super excited to continue this <3

She was back in the forest. She hadn’t been here in a while, so she wondered why she was here now. 

Those same angry oak trees seemed to be glaring at her, silently judging her. Unlike last time, she didn’t run. No, she stayed. She marched right up to those angry trees and ran her nimble fingers along the coarse bark, collecting splinters in her fingertips as she travelled up and down the trunk. 

_ Crack. _

Hermione whipped her head around to face the culprit of the crunching branch. It was that same centaur that had so mysteriously inspected her, then ran off. But this time would be different, this time she was going to get answers. 

“Will you finally speak with me?” She was apprehensive with her bluntness, but if she wanted answers, this was how it was going to be. 

The centaur didn’t answer. Just like before, he did a slow circle around her, truly getting a good look at her, as if he needed to confirm something. 

“Do you truly not remember?” His majestic voice finally spoke out after a few moments of silence. It was deep and deafening, and just like his looks, oddly familiar. It almost made her homesick in some very peculiar way, which could obviously not be possible because centaurs are not real. Only myths. 

“Is there something I’m supposed to remember?” She stared up at the creature, his ember eyes burning with curiosity and passion. She was entranced by his gaze, the way his eyes painted a thousand pictures, it was like she could see his old soul through his irises. 

But the old soul was not one of innocence, no. His eyes held the look of someone who had endured trauma, years of it. Someone exhausted by the environment around them. 

“I suppose you’ve recently learned how you earned that scar?” He motioned his head towards her arm. She looked down, and for a mere second, she forgot what had happened to her just a few hours ago. 

“I don’t know what to believe. I probably just hit my head when I fell and dreamed up some crazy fantasy,”

“And the bursting lights?” 

“The lights?” Hermione questioned. She played back the traumatic events of the night in her head, despite her wanting to shove them so deep down into her consciousness that she would forget it ever happened. 

“Light don’t burst on their own, young one,” 

“Sure they can, if the manufacturer hadn’t put enough insulation in the bulb, causing the base to heat up and let gas leak out,” she began to ramble on. 

“All of the light bulbs?” 

“Maybe they came from the same manufacturer? All the same batch,” she furrowed her brows at the persistence of the centaur. 

“Ignorance is not always bliss, I urge you to dive deeper. You’re the brightest of your age, I know you can do better than that,” he stepped closer to her, and she was faced with how tall he actually was. Looking up at him, a small part in her felt nostalgic, which was extremely odd. 

“Brightest of my age?” 

“Indeed you are. In time, you’ll find out. I must be going off now.”

“Wait! Tell m-” but before Hermione could finish her sentence, the centaur had turned on his heel and galloped off into the depths of the forest. 

Brightest of her age? Yes, Hermione had been top of her class in high school, but no one had ever referred to her as the brightest of her age. It seemed like a title, a title that one did not simply pull out of their behind. 

She walked over to a chopped off tree stump, and plopped down on it. She placed her head in her hands and let out a deafening scream. A scream that let out all of her confusion. A scream that let out all of her frustration. 

She screamed with everything in her, until her palms were pressed so hard into her eyes that she saw stars. The stars morphed into a blinding white light, and she cursed as this bright light cursed her vision. 

Hermione jolted up in her bed, panting. Sunlight blinded her vision, which was why in her dream she had been blinded as well. She groaned and buried her face under the pillow in an attempt to block out the sunlight. 

With the combination of the events of last night and this dream, Hermione was so emotionally drained, she didn’t know if she had the energy to face Ginny or Draco, and possibly even Harry and Ron. It was all too much for her. She was just thankful it was Saturday and she didn’t have work. 

She needed a shower. She craved the scorching water to drip down her body and wash away all the sins of her life, the sins of her mess last night. She cringed as she undid the bandage wrap, suddenly face to face with the ugly scar, that was now an open wound. 

It was like it had just been carved into her arm, and the thought of that made her shudder. What if her little mental image hadn’t been a dream, and that’s how she actually earned it? It would be absolutely absurd, but there was no other real explanation for how her mind could come up with such a vivid event out of the blue. Let alone put him in her dream. 

She stepped into the shower and let the water burn her arm, let the pain sink in, seep into her broken skin and flow through the valleys of her flesh. Clenching her teeth, she watched the final remnants of blood wash down the drain, mildly staining the white linoleum tiles. 

She finished her shower and threw on a bra and sweatpants, then dug into her drawer for her vice. Hermione shoved open the window and sat on her windowsill, staring out at the city, listening to the bustling of cars and pedestrians. 

A quiet meow came from the middle of the room, as a little orange blob emerged from underneath the bed. 

“Come here boy,” Hermione patted on her lap, and the cat obeyed, hopping right on top of her thighs. It probably wasn’t the healthiest to smoke around pets, but this cat was nearing the end of his days, and she just liked to spend time with him, no matter the circumstance. 

She mindlessly stroked her furry friend, staring out the window, smoking her cigarette. 

“Oh Crookshanks, I’m in deep shit, aren’t I?”

The cat only responded by purring, rubbing right up against Hermione’s chest. 

She takes a long drag, letting all of the tobacco travel down her esophagus and intoxicate her, holding the substance in her lungs to allow for the poison to spread slowly, until she exhales, and all her stress is released along with the puff of smoke. 

Hermione was a smart girl, she knew smoking wasn’t good for her, and if her stress levels continued to rise, and she started to smoke more often, she knew the results would not be pleasant. But what was the worst that could happen? Death? That didn’t seem too bad, did it? Death is inevitable, so what’s the harm in shaving off a couple years in this cruel world? 

She tossed the butt and kicked Crookshanks off of her lap, finally exiting the room to face reality. 

Ginny was sitting on the couch already, ready for Hermione to explain herself. 

"You have a lot of explaining to do," Ginny spoke as she took a sip of her coffee. She eyed Hermione up and down, inspecting her. Her eyes caught at the wound, and Hermione realized she hadn’t wrapped it back up. Flustered, she instinctively threw her arm behind her back so Ginny couldn’t look at it any longer. 

“I don’t even know where to begin,” she looked down and fiddled with the strings of her sweatpants. 

Ginny reached on the coffee table and picked up another mug, offering it to Hermione. She walked over and slumped onto the couch, nodding her head in thanks as she took the mug from her hands. 

“Just start from the very beginning, we have all day.”

"I suppose I’ll start from when he came to the apartment all angry," Hermione rolled her eyes. 

“He came to the apartment?” Ginny straightened her back as she cleared her throat. 

"A couple weeks ago, it wasn’t pleasant at all. I will take partial fault, he saw me hanging out with Theo and got a bit jealous. It really only happened because I saw Malfoy and Pansy hanging out, and when I stormed out of the coffee shop, I ran into Theo and he had the brilliant idea of hanging out to make him jealous.”

“So he came over to confront you about hanging out with Theo?” Her eyebrows raised in suspicion. 

“He accused me of doing more than just ‘hanging out’ with Theo, but essentially, yes. But we got into a rather heated argument, I raised my hand to slap hi-”

“You slapped him?” Ginny’s eyes grew wide in surprisement.

Hermione ignored her and continued, “But he grabbed my arm before I could, and my scar opened up and started bleeding all over, so I ran off.”

“Oh, but this was a while ago, so what happened in between then?” 

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So fast forward a couple weeks, and here we are, two days ago…” Hermione goes on to explain the whole club situation, with Pansy inviting her, and then her making up with Draco, spending the night in his bed with him. It seemed surreal telling her all of this, especially the part about her doing cocaine. 

“There is no way, you have to be fucking lying Hermione,” Ginny shook her head in disbelief. She didn’t blame her. Never in a million years would she have thought she would have been doing lines of coke in a club with a group of people she hardly knew. But nonetheless, she did. 

“Ron and Harry are going to go fucking wild when they hear what you did!” Ginny scooted closer to Hermione and pulled her into an embrace filled with excitement and joy, proud of her for opening herself up to new experiences, even if those experiences were quite extreme. 

“You won’t!” Hermione protested. 

“Oh, but I will! And soon, you’ll take me there too and we can do it together! I’m growing tired of just weed and alcohol, I’m sure your new friends wouldn’t mind more company,” she winked at Hermione. 

“You are something else I’ll tell you that. But now on the part I’m dreading the most,” she looked down in her lap. Ginny grabbed her hands, and she met her gaze. 

“I’m here for you, but I can only help you if you tell me what happened last night.”

Hermione took a deep breath, and after a couple moments, she nodded and began to tell her everything. Reliving the memories was horrid, and the thought of her having to explain this again to Draco was even more horrid, but she knew she had to. 

Seeing the man’s face snarl in front of her, his creepy smile, the faces of the people snickering as they watched her writhe in indescribable pain on a cold floor. Her breathing started to quicken with each new detail she revealed to Ginny. 

“Take your time. Breathe.”

Hermione took more deep breaths, slowing her panic down. She mustered up the courage to finish her story, and when she was done, she felt like a weight had been lifted off of her chest. 

"My god, Hermione. I love you. Are you okay?" She looked absolutely horrified. Ginny pulled Hermione into a tight embrace and rubbed her back to comfort her. 

"I still don't know. I’d like to think I am, but you can see how I react when I even just try to tell the damn story again."

"And you called Malfoy because you said that you saw him in the vision? He was there?” 

Hermione responded by nodding her head into Ginny’s shoulder. 

“Are you positive you didn’t just hit your head and had a very vivid dream?” 

"I’m not entirely positive, but Ginny, you saw my wound. It was like it was being carved again for the first time. It all felt so real, and so familiar," she shook her head and steadied her breath. 

"I am so sorry Hermione, I wish you never had to go through that. But maybe there's a meaning behind it, maybe there's something deeper," she reasoned. 

"I have a strange feeling that this is only the beginning, and it's going to get a lot worse from here." 

~*~

Hours and hours later, Hermione rummaged through her bag to find her phone. When she pulled it out, she saw the damage she had inflicted on it. The whole screen was cracked, but surprisingly, the rest of the phone was intact. She grabbed a charger, and to her joy, it successfully began charging. 

She laid on her back, starfish position, smoking yet another cigarette. The smoke spiraled up from her mouth into her nose, and back out of her mouth and into the air. The art of it was so beautiful, yet so broken and damned. 

_ Buzz.  _

Hermione reached on her bedside table and picked up her phone. A text from Draco. 

**_8:13 P.M._ **

_ We need to talk.  _

_ Meet me at the coffee shop now? _

_ Okay.  _

Hermione rushed and threw on some shoes and a hoodie over her bra. She didn’t bother looking decent. He had seen her at an all-time low last night, she had far bigger concerns than dressing decent for him. She rushed out of her room, keys and phone in hand. 

“Where are you running off to?” Ginny questioned from the couch. 

“Meeting Malfoy to talk. I’ll catch you later!” She tried to bolt over to the door, but Ginny stepped in front of her before she could. She placed her hands on Hermione’s shoulders. 

“Take care, alright? I don’t want to see you getting hurt again, it really hurt seeing you like that last night,” her face was painted with sorrow and sympathy. Ginny really was her best friend. 

“I’ll try my best.”

Ginny pulled her into a tight embrace, burying her head into Hermione’s hair. 

“You smell like smoke,” Ginny pulled away and inspected Hermione. 

“I lit a candle a little bit ago. I gotta get going now, I’ll see you later, okay?” Hermione offered Ginny a soft smile, and finally left their apartment. 

She walked to the coffee shop. Even if it took her longer than taking the subway, by no means was she ready to step into that underground hell anytime soon. Hell, she didn’t even know if she would be able to bring herself home from work by herself anymore, since it was always late when she got out. 

With each step that carried her towards the shop, another thought would race through her mind. She was slightly nervous to see him again, considering the mess of what happened last night. She couldn’t imagine all the questions he had running through his mind, questions that she probably didn’t know the answers to quite frankly. 

As she stepped into the coffee shop, she took a deep breath, trying her best to prepare herself for the tough conversation she was about to endure. She immediately spotted him at a table, already ready with two coffees. She carefully walked over to him, heart beating out of her chest. 

The second she sat down in the chair across from him, his gaze shot up to meet her eyes without hesitation. 

“Hi,” she said. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked blankly. It sounded almost like it was only a formality, not so much a question of compassion and concern. 

"I've been better," she looked down and fiddled with the lid of her coffee cup. 

They sat there for a few moments before Draco broke the silence. 

"So are you going to explain to me why I got a call so late at night, you screaming 'Why the fuck did you let this happen to me?'" he quoted her. She looked up and met his eyes. He looked slightly annoyed, and it made Hermione feel foolish. Her pain and torture was apparently an inconvenience to him. 

“Right to business I see.”

“Well, are you going to answer my question?” He sat there, arms crossed over his chest, arrogance radiating off of his posture. 

She shook her head and let out a sigh. She had imagined this conversation to be difficult, but she didn’t imagine he would be a complete prick about it. 

“There was this man, he was following me in the subway, the same as he had before. He was too close for me to escape this time, so I decided to turn around and confront him,” she began to explain. 

“You’re telling me, you work for one of the world’s biggest tech companies and are supposedly super smart, yet you confront a creepy man that’s following you in the subway tunnels while you are alone?” He scoffed. It was outright disrespectful. Whoever had cared for her last night and shown her compassion was definitely not sitting here in front of her. 

“If you came here to just gloat in my pain and judge me for my choices, then I don’t owe you a damn explanation. Goodbye, Malfoy. Have a splendid rest of your day!” Hermione jolted out of her seat, standing up to walk away. She hadn’t even had a chance to finish her coffee, what a pity. 

He grabbed her wrist before she could walk away any further. “I’m sorry, continue your story.”

Hermione hesitated for a moment, but ultimately she sat back down. She sighed and continued on, "I asked him who he was and why he had been following me, but all he said was how he had finally found me, and how this other man would be surprised that he finally did."

"You got yourself a little secret admirer, that's what you have," he chuckled. Hermione reached over the table and slapped his arm rather hard. 

“Lord, relax for one second, yeah?” He sat there rubbing his bicep, right where she had slapped him. 

"Be serious for one second, yeah?" She retorted. "God, what is it with you? Never mind, I don't care. Anyways, instead of answering my questions, he came closer to me and grabbed my arm. It was like electricity shot through my whole body. My arm started burning and bleeding, I saw flashing lights, my head felt like it was on fire, and then I fell." 

He didn't say anything, but his expression changed. His once snarky and annoyed expression turned into one that she could have considered the slightest bit of concern. 

"My reality started to shift, and I wasn't in the subway anymore. I was in a dark room, filled with people."

“People? Like who?”

“I didn’t know who most of them were, except you of course. And I’m pretty sure your mother and father?”

The second she brought up his father and mother, he sat straight up, his shoulders tensing. “How do you know it was my parents?”

“Does your mother have black and white hair? Does your father have long, blonde hair?” 

“Yes...” Draco said suspiciously. 

"You in particular looked like absolute hell, no offense. I think you were about 16, maybe 17? I don't know for sure, but you sure as hell looked scared and tired. Then there was this terrifying lady. She was on top of me, and asking me if my friends and I had taken the sword from her vault in this weird place. I had no idea what she was talking about.”

“Do you remember the name of the place she said you stole it from?” 

“Gringotts, I think? It doesn’t matter, I don’t recognize the place. It was as if I had no control over my emotions and actions, because I started to scream and cry and say I didn't take it, even though I had no idea what she was talking about. Then, she pinned me down and began to carve it into my arm. It was like I was reliving the pain, it hurt like it was being carved into my arm for the first time.”

Draco winced at the sound of that. He looked slightly uncomfortable, which was understandable. But nonetheless, she had to continue. 

"It went on for what felt like forever, but then she finally finished. I looked down at my arm, and there it was, my damn ugly scar. I remember looking at you, I looked at you right in the eyes. You looked stressed, and angry. After that, I woke back up in the subway and the man left without further explanation.”

“And then that’s when you called me?” He blinked a couple of times, processing what she had just told him. 

“After I had a screaming fit and all the lights burst, yeah,” Hermione said as if it weren’t extremely odd. 

"And you're positive this was all real?" he asked. “You didn’t just hit your head on the way down and start dreaming?”

"Does this look like a dream to you?" She pulled her hoodie sleeve up, revealing the wound, now starting to scab over. The red, tainted letters spelling out  _ Mudblood _ clear as day against her pale skin. 

“You went through a lot,” he stared at her. It was almost like he was at a loss for words. 

“No shit, Malfoy!” Hermione placed her head in her hands, scratching at her scalp. She didn’t even know how to make sense of all this. 

And it was like he read her mind, “You don’t have to understand this right away, in time you’ll figure it out, I’m sure.”

“I sure hope so, because it’s all shit right now,” she looked down and cracked her knuckles. She could really use a smoke right now. 

“Well, if you want help figuring it out, I’m here. Seeing as I was apparently involved in this situation, I’d like some answers as well,” he placed his hands on the table and stood himself up. Hermione looked up at him in confusion. 

“Leaving just like that?” She raised an eyebrow up at him. 

“No you silly, we are leaving. Let’s go,” he curled his pointer and middle finger back and forth, motioning for her to follow him. 

“Where are we going?” She reluctantly followed him.

“Do you ever stop asking questions?” He sighed. 

“No.”

“Figured.” He continued walking ahead of her and out of the shop, not looking back to acknowledge her. She sped up her steps to try and keep up with his annoyingly long strides. 

They walked in silence for a couple minutes, but of course, Hermione being Hermione, she couldn’t stand the anticipation of not knowing where he was taking her. 

“Can you tell me where we are going?” 

“God I thought I told you to not ask questions,” he groaned. 

“No you didn’t actually. You asked me if I ever stop asking questions, but you never explicitly told me to stop,” she huffed. 

Draco stopped walking and turned to face her. 

“Do you not just live in the moment? Do you never simply let loose and go with the flow?” He looked down at her with much curiosity, studying her worrisome tendencies. 

“I prefer to know where I’m going and what I’m doing,” she crossed her arms in a pout. 

“Why?” 

“Why?” She quirked an eyebrow up. 

“You heard me,” he stepped closer to her. Close enough to where their chests were almost touching. 

“I like to have control over my life, knowing gives me a sense of comfort,” she stepped away from him and continued to walk forward before giving him a chance to make an advance on her.

“Well, it’s time you lose some control,” he caught up to her in a light jog.

“Like that’s ever going to happen,” Hermione rolled her eyes.

“I hate to break it to you, but you don’t really have a choice in the matter,” Draco grabbed her wrist and began dragging her along.

“Let go of me!” She tried to struggle out of his grip as she dug her heels into the sidewalk to try and slow him down. Her efforts obviously weren’t good enough, because she was still getting dragged unwillingly. 

He didn’t answer her, just continued to grip her tightly by the wrist and drag along a stubborn Hermione. He dragged her along for what felt like forever, but when he finally reached his desired destination, he halted. 

“Wait here, I’ll be one second,” he let go of her wrist and placed his hand on her shoulder. 

“How do you know I won’t run off?” She crossed her arms and popped her hip to the side, scowling up at him. 

“Because I know you won’t,” he gave her a final pat on the shoulder and stepped into the large glass building. Hermione didn’t recognize it, but she figured it was some sort of grand apartment complex. Lord, if this was some other apartment or suite he had she was going to lose it. 

Resting up against a concrete potter in front of the building, she couldn’t help but stare at every person that walked by. With every man that passed in front of her, a small bit of anxiety sparked within her. A pit in her stomach would grow each time a hooded man would walk in front of her. 

She couldn’t help but think what if each man that came near her wanted to harm her as well? What if they knew her as well? Her breath hitched in her throat and she found herself clutching her stomach to try and keep herself from retching up her coffee. 

Her hands started to tremble, so she shut her eyes to try and ground herself. But when she closed her eyes, she didn’t see darkness. She saw far from the pitch black nothingness that should have been there. 

No. Instead, she saw herself on the floor of that dark room. The room that held too many secrets and possessed too much dark energy for its own good. She saw herself writhing on the floor in pain, screaming for someone, anyone, to help her. 

Stop. Please stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Make this stop. Anything please. Just make it stop. 

She didn’t want to watch it again, but it was like she was entranced. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the scene of her getting tortured, but she couldn’t bear to stare at her pain any longer. 

She couldn’t know how many more times she could relive this. The first time was one too many. She wouldn’t be able to handle these panic attacks. Hermione was a smart girl, she was far from naive to think that these panic attacks would not recur. 

The best thing she could do was mentally prepare herself for the shit show she would be enduring, even though nothing would ever truly prepare her for the mental and physical abuse she had to face every time she replayed the scene in her mind. 

She heard the bell of the door ring and was jolted back into reality out of her conscious. Gasping for air, she jerked her head towards the door and was met with immediate relief when it was him. 

“Is everything good?” He walked towards her, twirling a set of car keys around his finger. 

“Everything’s fine,” she shook off his worries. He squinted his eyes at her, but just shrugged his shoulders and acted as if nothing had happened. Hermione didn’t want to get into it again, so she was thankful. 

“Alright, come along now, little one,” he headed towards the parking garage right next to the building.

“Don’t call me that!” Hermione swatted his shoulder. 

“Are you not little?” 

“No! I mean, maybe. But…. I guess,” she sank her head down in defeat. 

“It’s not a bad thing, love,” he slung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her in tightly. He led her down into the parking garage until they reached a black convertible. Draco didn’t even bother opening up the door, he just hopped right on over and into the driver’s seat. 

“This is your car?” Hermione slowly ran her fingers along the side of the car. 

“It’s Zabini’s, but he doesn’t mind sharing,” he turned the key in the ignition and started up the car. “Well, are you going to hop in?” 

Hermione hesitated for a moment, but she reluctantly hopped over the side and into the passenger seat. She buckled her seatbelt and slumped into her seat. 

“Ready?” He turned to look at her, a big smirk plastered on his face. 

“Nope.”

“Alright,” He reversed the car out of its spot and sped out of the garage. The wind whipped through her hair, sending her curls flying in the air. The buildings appeared and disappeared quickly as they sped through the streets of New York City. As much as Hermione didn’t want to admit it, it was a little bit freeing. 

She let her head fall back on the headrest, looking up at the night sky illuminated by the magnificent stars. She was forgetting all about her horrid memories and flashbacks. She was living in the moment, in a convertible, next to Draco, letting the wind fly all around her as they sped down the streets. 

She reached forward and turned up the radio, immediately squealing when she heard the song. 

_ She’s been living in her uptown world. _

“I love this song!” Hermione turned to Draco and a huge grin spread on her face. He shook his head and laughed. “You’re telling me you don’t love this song?” 

“No, not particularly,” he let out another little chuckle. 

“Well, you’re missing out!” She yelled as she cranked up the volume on the car radio. “And now she’s looking for a downtown man!” Hermione sang as she held up an invisible microphone to her mouth. She threw her other hand up in the air, running it through her hair. 

_ And when she wakes up and makes up her mind. _

Draco turned to watch Hermione as she sang at the top of her lungs, shooting her arms up into the air as she looked like she didn’t have a single care in the world. It was exhilarating. 

“I’m in love with an uptown girl!” She reached out and cupped his cheek with one of her hands, running her delicate fingers along his jawline. The music blaring in the background drowned out the sounds of the car engine, trapping them in a reality where they were the only two people in the entire world. His eyes widened slightly at her delicate touch, causing a smirk to grow on her face. 

Hermione quickly unbuckled her seatbelt. 

“What are you doing?” He tried to grab her hand to stop her, but with his focus on the road, she had the upper hand. She was able to swat his hand away and successfully unbuckle herself. 

“Losing control, you should try it sometime!” She grinned at him. She placed her feet on the seat, and with her back up against the seat, she slowly inched her way up, extending her legs. She reached out and gripped the glass of the front windshield tightly, using it as support. 

“Well this wasn’t what I had in mind,” he looked up at her, eyes opened wide with concern and surprise. 

“I guess I’m just full of surprises!” She shouted over the music. 

_ Uptown girl. You know I can’t afford to buy her pearls. _

Hermione was now standing fully up on the seat, a death grip on the front windshield keeping her from flying out of the car. The wind was strong against her body, trying to push her back. But she wouldn’t allow it, because she was stronger than that. 

She looked down at Draco, who had now relaxed slightly. She convinced herself to let one of her hands go from the windshield, and reached down with an open palm. He looked her up and down, and with a chuckle of defeat, he intertwined their fingers. 

“And when she’s talking, she’ll say that she’s mine!” She sang while never breaking eye contact with him. 

But what he did next, she had never expected. 

“She’ll say I’m not so tough, just because I'm in love with an uptown girl,” he sang under his breath. His voice was deep and surly, but it sounded like honey to her ears. Her jaw dropped slightly as she stared down at him. He gave her hand a little squeeze and winked at her. 

“You do know the song, you liar!” She yelled at him.

“All I said was I didn’t particularly love it,” he smirked. 

Hermione immediately sat back down in her seat so she was now level with him. 

“That was a one time thing, so I hope you enjoyed that,” he returned his gaze to the road, removing his hand from Hermione’s and placing it on her left thigh. She looked down at his hand, decorated with black and silver rings, as his fingers gripped her flesh through the fabric of her sweatpants. His touch was warm, and it immediately made her stomach flutter. 

_ She’s my uptown girl. _

Looking at him, the wind whipping through his icy blonde hair, the way he rolled his tongue at the side of his cheek, the flutter of his eyelashes every time he blinked, it filled Hermione with joy. A joy she had never really experienced before. It was like a little light had entered her body and was illuminating all the crevices that were previously dark. 

She reached over and placed a kiss on his cheek. 

“What was that for?” He smiled as he gave her thigh a squeeze. 

“I’m just happy right now, that’s all,” she let out a sigh as she leaned her head in her hands as her elbows rested on the side of the car. 

“Right now? As opposed to always?” He gave her a suspicious glance, but she paid no attention to it. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she turned her head to smile at him, then returned to staring out at the city. 

Because it was true. In this moment, she was truly and utterly happy. For once, nothing was weighing her down, nothing was holding her back from being who she truly wanted to be. Here in this moment, with him, she was experiencing what it’s like for people who are always happy. And she was appreciating every moment of this feeling, because she knew it wouldn’t last. 

She could never experience pure and genuine happiness. A happiness where you don’t constantly feel like you're drowning. A happiness where you don’t sit in your room bargaining with yourself how you can make the dull pain stop. But with him, she could put that aside for a moment and pretend. She could pretend to be a happy, normal person for once. 

All thanks to him. 

  
  



	10. 09

"Just ask him!" 

"I'm nervous!" Hermione pouted. 

“There is absolutely no harm in asking, I’m sure he won’t say no if he isn’t busy,” Ginny grabbed Hermione by the shoulders and tried to shake the nerves away. 

“What if he doesn’t want to go?” A pit began to grow in her stomach as the nerves of asking Draco to attend a work ball overtook her. 

“Hermione, after what you told me about you two hanging out a week ago, I’m sure he wouldn’t say no.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely positive,” Ginny nodded her head in reassurance and pulled Hermione into a tight hug. 

“If he says no I’m blaming you!” Hermione pulled out of the embrace, giving Ginny a slight suspicious look. 

“I’ll take full responsibility,” she chuckled. “Go off now, off to your room! Go call him!” She pushed Hermione into her room and shut the door for her. 

Hermione paced around the room, phone in hand. She didn’t know why she was so nervous to ask him to attend this thing with her. She needed a date, because showing up by herself to an event that was partially celebrating her successes at the company would be downright embarrassing. 

The last time she had hung out with Draco, the initial circumstances had been extremely unfortunate. Sure the night ended spectacularly, but the lingering emotions of the incident still stayed afloat within Hermione. She had dreamt a couple nightmares of that horrendous experience, and had a panic attack here and there, but she tried not to worry anyone. This was her burden, and hers alone. 

She finally mustered up the courage and dialed his number. With each ring that passed, her heart rate accelerated significantly. The anticipation of not knowing if he would even answer or not killed her. 

“Granger, what a surprise,” he answered. Hermione’s nerves laid a little lower, at least she knew he wouldn’t ignore her. 

“Hello, Malfoy,” her voice wavered slightly. 

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” She could practically see him smirking on the other side of the line. She could picture that stupid smirk, his mouth barely ajar as his tongue was rolled on the side of his cheek, his eyes darkening ever so slightly. 

“I actually have a favor to ask of you.”

“A favor?” The pitch in his voice raised slightly with the last syllable. He sounded quite curious at what this possible favor could be. Hermione’s nerves calmed slightly, at least he was possibly interested. 

“More of an invitation actually.”

“So where are we going?” 

“Well, this Friday my company is throwing this sort of party thing. It’s not formal, it’s just a little celebration for some advancements and achievements,” she played with her cuticles as she verbally invited him to her event. 

“I might be able to clear up my schedule, but I’ll have to see,” he teased. 

“If you can’t make it, it’s totally fine. No hard feeling, I understand that you mi-,” she began rambling on. 

“Granger?” He cut her off. 

“Yeah?”

“I’m only teasing you, I’ll be there.”

Hermione’s nerves had gone away fully, and were instead replaced with fluttering butterflies in her abdomen. She hadn’t anticipated what she would say if he had actually said yes, she had always assumed he would honestly be busy. 

“Party starts at eight, but come whenever you want.”

“Alright, I’ll be seeing you soon then, Granger.”

“I’ll see you soon, Malfoy,” Hermione hung up the phone and let out her breath which she had been holding. She sprinted out of her room and jumped into Ginny’s arms. “He said yes!” 

“I told you!” Ginny cheered as she squeezed Hermione. “What did I say? I told you he would say yes!” 

Hermione pulled away, only to see Ginny practically jumping for her. 

“Go on, say it. I want to hear the words come out of your mouth,” she smirked at her. 

“Ginevra Molly Weasley, you were absolutely right and you told me so,” Hermione bowed her head down in defeat. 

“So, what are you going to wear?” Ginny’s grin stretched from ear to ear. 

“I wasn’t aware I needed new attire for this event,” Hermione furrowed her brow.

“Of course you do! You’re being celebrated for god’s sake, and he’s going to be there! You have to look your absolute best!” 

“What’s wrong with the dresses I have now?” She placed her hands on her hips in a pout. 

“Nothing, darling. Absolutely nothing. But there’s also nothing wrong with treating yourself and getting something new,” she walked over to her and placed both of her hands on Hermione’s shoulders. 

“It’s not that formal of a party. Besides, I wouldn’t know what to pick out.”

“Call up your friend. The girl from your little night club excursion. Pansy I think her name was? You said she dressed you up quite nicely, so call her up, and we’ll all go out together and shop for you, yeah?” 

“I guess you two would be a great help,” Hermione pulled her phone out of her pocket and unlocked it to text Pansy. 

“See? This will be fun!” Ginny beamed. 

Pansy had returned Hermione’s text almost immediately, asking where to meet them with no hesitation whatsoever. Apparently Pansy was always available to do some charity work and help a girl out who hadn’t the slightest idea about proper dress attire for a semi-casual celebration.

She could trust their opinion, right? She just hoped they wouldn’t dress her up into something that was too much for her, something too out of her comfort zone. She didn’t want to be spending the whole night worrying about her attire and if it looked right on her instead of engaging in a conversation with the man whom she had invited.

That would be disastrous. 

And so Ginny and Hermione embarked on their journey into Downtown Brooklyn. 

When they reached their destination, a decently sized dress boutique, fit with formal and semi-formal dresses. Countless options lined the racks, and it was a little overwhelming thinking she would have to tie herself down to only one of them. 

“There she is!” A high-pitched voice squealed from a seat within the store. Pansy ran over to Hermione and wrapped her arms around her tightly, so tightly that she was lifted off of the ground. “It’s so nice to finally see you again, love!” 

“It’s nice to see you too Pansy,” she chuckled as Pansy let her down back onto the ground. “This is Ginny, you guys met at the New Years’ Party I assume?” 

“Yes we did. Lovely to see you again, darling,” Pansy pulled Ginny into a hug of her own, and Ginny seemed quite receptive when she hugged her right back with the same energy. Maybe all of her friends really could go hang out and party with them, that would surely be an interesting time. 

“Alright, let’s get to work,” Pansy clapped her hands together. She turned her head to Ginny, “What are we thinking?”

“It’s semi-formal, so I’m thinking nothing floor-length, that would be far too formal,” Ginny began to ramble on as she rummaged through the racks of dresses. 

“Agreed. I’m thinking something that falls a couple inches above the knee, maybe a tiny slit on the thigh for some fun?” Pansy joined the search. Both girls looked like they were on a time-sensitive mission, diving through the racks of clothes to find the perfect dress for the occasion. 

“Exactly what I was thinking. Now, I think either dark green or black is Hermione’s color, but she likes red the best, which she also looks good in.”

“So we’ll look for black, red and dark green. Are we talking forest green or emerald green?”

“There’s a difference?” Hermione mumbled to herself. 

“Emerald green.”

“Definitely emerald green. Good call.”

The way these girls worked blew Hermione’s mind. They passed up dress after dress, making dirty looks at dresses that seemed unfit and occasional thoughtful glances at ones that seemed worthy enough in their eyes. She was left completely out of the decision of what she was going to wear, it was ridiculous. 

“So, do I not get a say in what I’m wearing?” Hermione walked over to Ginny, trying to get a look at what types of dresses she was gathering in her arms. 

“No.” They both said very bluntly. They didn’t even look up at her in response, just spoke and continued on their search for a dress. 

Hermione let out a frustrated sigh and plopped down onto a bench within the store. She just hoped they would pick something that she was decently comfortable in, that was her only wish. 

The two girls rushed over to Hermione, shoving a handful of dresses into her arms. 

“Hurry, let’s get it moving. We need to see all these dresses,” Pansy yanked Hermione up by the elbow as she ushered her over to the dressing rooms. 

“Come out after each one, alright?” Ginny smiled as she closed the door of the fitting room, leaving Hermione in a flustered mess of dresses. 

She set the lot down and picked the topmost dress off of the pile. Holding it up to herself in the mirror, she looked in horror. 

“It’s so short! Holy shit you two!” She gasped as she examined the length of her dress. It was something she never would have picked for herself. She worried that the rest of the dresses they had picked out were similar, and she suddenly felt hopeless about this shopping trip. 

“Just put it on!” Ginny yelled from the other side of the door. 

Undressing herself into just her bra and underwear, Hermione stared at the ghost of her reflection in the mirror. She ran her fingers just below her breasts, where her ribs were clearly visible. She poked at the valleys in between each rib, feeling for healthy fat that simply wasn’t there. 

She ran her fingers down to where she once had decent curves, now replaced with boney hips that jutted out like a skeleton. She stared at the way her thighs didn’t touch like they used to, where she could see the door behind her from in between her legs. 

She cringed every time she looked at her body, because it was just a reminder of who she had become and how different she was than before. It was an aching reminder of how fucking pathetic she was now. 

Hermione was strong. She always put up a strong front, never appearing weak in front of anyone. So it made sense that her pain ate away at her body, because instead of projecting her hurt onto others, she projected it all onto herself. She was only protecting those around her, because she always needed to be there for others. She had to be perfect for those who needed her the most. 

Punishing herself for any minor inconvenience, it was all starting to become apparent on her body. The slightest bit of trouble she caused for anyone else, even just slightly raising her voice at someone she was in an argument with, would result in her overcompensating on herself, because only shitty people do shitty things to others. And shitty people deserve shitty things done to them, right? 

But Hermione was strong, so she would never let anyone see this. Never. 

No one would have to know how deep down, she’s screaming for help. Because she doesn’t really need help, because she’s strong, and she can deal with everything on her own. 

Hesitantly, she grabbed the dress and slipped it on, letting it fall over the skeleton that was Hermione Granger. 

The dress was pretty, she had to admit, it was just nothing that she would have ever pictured herself in. The black glittery fabric clung to what was left of her tightly, maybe showing off her lack of meat too much. The sleeves ran perfectly all the way down to her wrist, the neckline falling just below her collarbones. 

But the length, oh good lord the length. One slight movement and her whole ass was on display for the entire world. How could she wear this to a work event?

She stepped out of the dressing room and both Pansy and Ginny immediately stopped their conversation to look. Their eyes widened, smirks pulling up their lips. 

“It’s too short,” Hermione turned around to show them the disaster that was occuring at the back. 

“Maybe a little too short,” Ginny nodded her head. 

“But you look damn hot, maybe for another occasion,” Pansy agreed. “Alright, next one.”

So, Hermione went back into the dressing room and tried on the next dress. She stepped out only to be critiqued again. She was sent back in to try another. 

The process repeated. New dress. Judgements. Go back. Undress. New dress. Judgements. Go back. 

Over and over and over. She tried on the lot of dresses until she tried on this one in particular. 

Hermione left the dressing room, slightly irritated and ready for this one to be turned down like all the others had. 

But instead, she was met with their jaws practically dropped to the floor. Their eyes widened with awe and lust, they motioned for Hermione to turn around and show them the entire view of the dress. 

“God damn, Hermione,” Pansy admired. 

“You look fucking amazing!” Ginny clapped her hands together. 

“This is the one. This is definitely the one.” Both girls nodded their heads, grins stretching from ear to ear. 

“You think?” Hermione had liked this one quite more than all the rest, but she was still iffy about it. It was still slightly out of her comfort zone. 

“I don’t think. I know,” Pansy said. 

“We don’t need to see any others. You’re buying this one.”

“Alright then, I trust you two,” Hermione walked back into the fitting room and took the dress off and changed back into her regular clothes. Grabbing all the rejected dresses and the one they had picked, she walked out and greeted the store worker with an apprehensive smile. 

The kind lady took the dresses away, and Hermione walked over to the register to pay, a giddy Pansy and Ginny following right behind her. 

Walking out of that store was like entering a whole other dimension. She felt trapped in that fashion hellhole, and it was like she was a newborn baby taking her first breath of true life. 

“Thank you both, really. You two are a huge help,” Hermione hugged her arms around Pansy and Ginny. 

“Oh darling, I’m here for you anytime you need help with fashion or makeup!” Pansy giggled. 

“All I heard was, ‘I told you so.’” Ginny basked in her glory. 

“Oh shut the hell up!” Hermione shoved her off. 

They bid Pansy goodbye and walked back to their apartment, where somehow Harry and Ron had gotten inside. 

“Welcome back, you two!” Harry grinned from their couch. 

“How the hell did you get in?” Ginny ran over to the boys and gave them each a flick to the head. 

“Found where you put your spare key. What? Did you really think you could keep us out?” Ron’s pride was radiating off of him, as if he had accomplished something great by finding a key under their literal front doormat. Hermione would let him have his moment though. 

“So, where were my two favorite girls?” Harry placed his cheeks in his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. 

“Dress shopping,” Hermione grunted as she threw the bag down and slumped into their armchair. 

“Uh oh, Hermione Granger dress shopping? What’s going on here?” Ron teased.

“Miss Hermione has a work party celebrating her achievements,” Ginny explained. 

“And that calls for a new dress because?” Harry pushed his glasses up in confusion. 

“Because, you bimbo, she invited Malfoy!” 

“Oh?” Ron raised his eyebrows and made a suggestive smirk. 

“Oh shut it! I invited him, so what?” Hermione let out a sigh. 

“Nothing, nothing at all. It’s just you two have gotten a lot closer, are you serious about him?”

“Ron, I have absolutely no idea. I’m just playing it out and seeing how this goes.”

Because truthfully, Hermione really didn’t have an idea if she was serious about him. He was bloody charming, so charming that she could forget about the way he threatened her every time he smirked or cracked a joke. 

She could excuse his jealous behavior and explosive attitude, because all the other parts made it worth it. But what did that say about her? Did that make her naive and silly? 

No, everyone has their faults. No one is perfect, so her feelings are completely justified. It was just his feelings that she was downright clueless about. Hermione didn’t really know if he completely liked her or not, this was all grey and new. 

Being around him made the hole in her heart a little smaller, but that was useless if he was just going to end up leaving soon anyways. Friday would hopefully help clear the air and make things clear, if all went well. 

All this overthinking was making Hermione lightheaded, so she excused herself and left to her bedroom. Her friends gave her questionable looks, but nonetheless, they let her go without protests or questions. 

She laid on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Thinking. Just thinking. Thinking of all the possibilities that could happen within the next couple months. 

There was future A, where she was happily together with Draco. Where they would get into little arguments and challenge each other, but nonetheless have a mutual understanding of each other at an intellectual and emotional level. 

She imagined waking up next to him in the morning, the smile that would grow on her face as she watched the sunlight hit all the right places on his pretty face. Stroking absent minded shapes on his bare chest as she whispered sweet nothings to him. 

She imagined going out on late night adventures with him. Accompanying him and his friends at the club again, this time refraining from the drugs which had not had the best come down. Dancing the night away, drunk on cheap vodka and whiskey, music pounding in their ears as they held onto each other like nothing else mattered. 

But then there was future B, where he was gone and her current state worsened. Where her pain worsened with each draining moment. Where the pain built up so incredibly bad that she didn’t know if she could handle it any longer. 

She feared that she would wake up each morning worse than the last, not knowing how much longer she could hold on for. Even waking up was a battle, so just how difficult would it be to go and continue on with life while her painstakingly difficult conscious telling her things she didn’t want to hear. 

Hermione slapped her forehead. She was overthinking. It’s a silly little date and she’s sitting there thinking about what it would be like to lose him. She was most definitely overthinking this. 

She suddenly had a strong urge to let loose, so she jolted up off the bed and quickly slipped into some black jeans that clung quite tightly to her skin and a cream colored sweater. She hurried back out of her room to where her friends were all still talking. 

“Who wants to go get drinks?” She said very bluntly. 

“Hermione Granger, asking us to go get drunk?” Ron and Harry exchanged glances. 

“You sure you aren’t sick?” Ginny teased. 

“I’m completely serious! You lot are ridiculous, am I not allowed to have fun?” Hermione furrowed her brows at them. 

“By all means, yes you’re allowed to have fun. Though from what I’ve heard, you’ve already been having more fun than us recently,” Harry eyed her up and down. 

“Say, take us clubbing with you guys sometime, yeah? I’d like to witness you doing some drugs myself, because quite frankly, I still don’t believe it either,” Ron shrugged his shoulders. 

“Oh, I will not be partaking in any drugs ever again, the come down was awful. I don’t believe I did it either, so I’ll just be sticking to alcohol from now on,” Hermione walked over to the coat rack and grabbed a warm jacket, slipping it on over her sweater. 

“Looks like we don’t have a babysitter anymore,” Ginny hopped off of the couch and came towards Hermione to grab a coat of her own. 

“Suppose we don’t. No one be too naughty tonight, alright?” Harry grinned. 

“No promises,” Ron jumped up and ran over to the door. Slipping on their shoes and coats, they all left the apartment and embarked on their journey to the bar. 

Entering the bar brought back up memories of Christmas Eve, memories that were pleasant, but also reminiscent of the initial conflict between her and Draco. She was over it, but of course it would never completely leave her mind. 

The way she felt played when she saw him kissing Pansy, then his anger when he confronted her about hanging out with Theo. There had to be some underlying issue, because no sane person would blow up irrationally over something so small. 

Yet, here she was, inviting him to parties and going out on adventures with him. 

The 4 of them walked over to the bar and as usual, the boys immediately ordered tequila shots for all of them. Not wasting any time, Hermione downed them with little difficulty, much to the group’s surprise. 

“Lord Hermione, you go to a club once and you’re ready to outshine all of us!” Ron stared at her with wide eyes. 

“Oh fuck off! Maybe I’ve always had it in me, I was just stuck babysitting you all so I couldn’t fully let go,” Hermione sighed, waving down the bartender for more shots. 

“Well by all means, drink away ‘Mione! We’ve been waiting for the moment you would hop off your high horse and join the rest of us drunk fellows,” Harry nudged her shoulder.

“High horse? What high horse? I was on no such thing!” She raised her brows at the boys while they sat there laughing at her, just enough laughter to slightly piss her off. She rolled her eyes and drank the new shots the bartender had poured them. 

The strong liquid flowed down her throat, and it was like it washed away the sorrows within her. The alcohol entered her system and invaded her veins, putting a temporary hold on her nerves for Friday and the pain that never seemed to stop nagging at her. 

And once again, just like she had felt on Christmas Eve and the night she went clubbing, she let the alcohol take over and wash away all of her pain, even if it was momentary. 

“Slow down there Hermione, I don’t want to have to clean up any throw up while I’m drunk, okay?” Ginny chuckled. 

“Oh relax, Ginny. I can take care of myself just fine!”

“Says the one who needed to be escorted home by Malfoy because she partied too hard at the club!” Ginny poked Hermione’s shoulder, giggling as she accused the girl. 

“Did not!” Hermione scoffed. 

“Did too!” She mocked Hermione’s tone, playing into the childish argument. 

“I was perfectly capable on my own!”

“Really? So that’s why he took you back to his place?”

“He offered!”

“Because he knew you were pissed out drunk and on drugs! He needed to take care of you!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Ladies! Ladies! Let’s calm down, yeah?” Harry said. 

“How about another shot to ease the tension?” Ron waved down the bartender. 

“Fine,” Hermione glared at Ginny. 

“I guess,” Ginny looked Hermione up and down, squinting her eyes at her. 

They begrudgingly took the shots and cheered with each other as they tipped the glasses up to their lips, letting the tequila pour down their throats. 

5 shots in. 

Hermione was a lightweight, she wasn’t going to deny that. She didn’t care really, nor was she embarrassed by it like others would be. It just meant it took less alcohol to get her drunk. 

She was already starting to feel the effects of it. The way she felt lighter, almost boneless. 

It wouldn’t be long before she would be regretting the amount of alcohol she had consumed. 

“Well look who we have here!” A deep voice spoke out from behind them. Hermione whipped her head around to see the honey brown haired boy grinning widely at her. 

“Theo!” Hermione jumped up and pulled him into a tight embrace, completely forgetting about the sour mood that the argument between her and Ginny had put her in. 

“Well aren’t you giddy tonight?” He rested his chin atop her head, returning her hug with equal energy. 

Hermione pulled off of him to see he had company with him. “Who’s this?” 

“I’m Elio,” the tall, brunette boy held out his hand to offer a handshake. Instead, Hermione strided over towards him to pull him into a hug as well. She turned her head to look at Theo while she hugged this new friend. She raised her eyebrows in question, hoping he would understand what she was asking. 

Theo’s grin grew even wider, and with a slight nod of his head, he had confirmed Hermione’s question. 

“It’s lovely to meet you, Elio. I’m Hermione Granger,” she pulled off of Elio and faced him with a great, big grin. 

“I see you all are having fun here, mind if we join in?” Theo slapped some bills on the table, and the bartender eyed them all before going and grabbing yet another round of shots. 

Hermione didn’t know if she could take another. But nonetheless, she wasn’t going to spoil the mood of her friend who had just shown up, so she would suck it up and pray to the lords that they would help her keep her stomach down. 

“To new friends,” Ginny tipped up her shot glass, followed by everyone else. 

“To new friends!” They all cheered and poured the shots down their throats. 

Feeling a sudden urge to get up and prance around, Hermione jumped out of her stool, grabbing Elio’s wrist and dragging him up towards the mini karaoke stage the bar had set up. 

“Do you sing?” She looked up at him with curiosity. 

“No, not really,” he shrugged his shoulders. 

“Me neither,” her grin stretched from ear to ear as she yanked him up on the stage. She stumbled her way over to the machine to put in a bill and pick her song. Scrolling through the endless choices, she came across one she knew would be just perfect. 

The rest of her friends gathered in front of the stage, drunken and amused. This was unlike Hermione, well according to her friends’ view of her. But she was drunk, and didn’t care, and needed a little distraction, so she figured why not have some fun and be bold. 

“Ready?” 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

The beginning music with the humm of the saxophone began, and all her friends started bursting out laughing. 

“You chose Careless Whisper? Are you insane?” Elio’s laughter echoed in the microphone as he held his stomach. 

“Maybe I am, baby,” she strutted over to him and held the microphone up to her lips. “I feel so unsure, as I take your hand and lead you to the dancefloor.” Hermione held out her hand, trying her best to stop herself from collapsing on stage. Elio took it, spinning her around, catching her before she face planted into the stage in front of everybody. 

“I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm,” holding the microphone in one hand and Hermione’s waist in the other, Elio danced with the girl to the amusement of all of their friends. 

“Get your girl!” Ron shouted. Harry was hooting in the background over the instrumental track. 

The pair danced around the stage, Hermione more than Elio. Well, it wasn’t really dancing. It was more Elio holding up Hermione as she stumbled and giggled uncontrollably. Elio’s dark eyes looked down at her, filled with joy and amusement. 

“I’ve known you for 10 minutes and you’re already my favorite person. Don’t tell Theo though,” he held the microphone away from his lips as he winked down at Hermione. 

Hermione jumped out of Elio’s hold and shook her hair loose, raking her free hand through the curls which had slightly dampened her sweat. 

“Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend,” Hermione sang into the mic, pointing her finger at Ginny and winking. Ginny stood up and whistled at her, giving her an even bigger boost of confidence. 

Adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins, Hermione slipped her thick coat off of one shoulder, looking up at the ceiling innocently while doing so. 

“Take it off! Take it off!” Theo clapped his hands together and hollered at her. The rest of the group followed and cheered along with him. 

Hermione’s clothes were in no way seductive, but it was the situation and their compromised state of minds that made it all so comical. As Elio sang the next few lines of the song, Hermione slowly dragged the coat off of her other shoulder. Once it was off, she lassoed it once above her head, then tossed it at her friends, blowing them a kiss as she did so. 

They continued on with their performance, Hermione stumbling on the stage as she attempted to dance, Elio holding himself together as he tried to not let his laughter ruin their performance. 

The saxophone started to pick up, and Hermione shoved herself closer to Elio. 

“This is the best part! Sing it with me!” She squealed. She grabbed his shoulders and turned him around, placing her back flush against his. All of her friends and the couple other people who were watching were all on their feet, cheering and laughing. 

“Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose this crowd!” They both sang at the top of their lungs, looking sideways and pointing at their friends as they stood back to back. 

“Maybe it’s better this way,” Hermione tilted her head up to the ceiling, the pads of her fingers ghosting over her collarbone. 

“We’d hurt each other with the things we’d want to say,” Elio’s voice was actually quite nice. He must have been lying when he said he didn’t sing, or Hermione was just so drunk she couldn’t properly judge how well he carried a tune. 

“We could have been so good together,” Hermione spun around, and Elio took the hint and spun around as well. 

“We could have lived this dance together,” he reached his hand out and cupped her cheek, a smirk pulling up on his lips and Hermione laughed out. 

They finished out the song, met by their friends storming the stage and pulling them all into a group hug. 

“You two should be a duo!” Theo chuckled. 

“That was quite the performance ‘Mione!” Ron patted her on the shoulder. 

“I would’ve enjoyed it more if I wasn’t so focused on you slurring your words or stumbling all over the stage!” Harry teased her. 

“Hey! You little fucker! I was abdominal!” Hermione furrowed her brows at him. 

“You mean phenomenal?” Ginny came over, pulling Hermione into a side hug. 

“Same shit,” she rolled her eyes. She turned to Theo and Elio, “You two have fun, we’ll let you guys be.”

“Let’s get you home,” Ginny handed her off to Ron, who intertwined his arm with hers, giving her balance. 

“Bye Theo, I miss you! Bye Elio, I hope to see you again!” She winked at the pair as her and her friends left the bar, out into the cold February night. 

“Hermione, you know you can let loose more often, you don’t always have to be the babysitter. It’s nice to see you have fun once in a while,” Harry spoke out. 

“I agree. Drunk Hermione really is entertaining to watch,” Ron chuckled. 

“Rare occasions only. I still can’t party as hard as the rest of you,” she giggled. 

“You can party as hard as us, you just don’t last as long, girlie,” Ginny had her fingers interlocked with Harry, and it took everything in Hermione to not make a giddy comment and ruin the moment. 

“Less alcohol, drunk faster!” Hermione yelled. 

“What?” Harry laughed, his eyebrows raising in question at her. 

“Nothing. Lips are sealed,” Hermione stared at Harry, her eyes so wide that the whites of them could be seen from a mile away. 

“You’re funny sometimes, you know that,” Ron rubbed the top of her head, tangling her curls. 

“I do know. I’m a fucking comedic genius, Ronald,” she spoke with a tone so deadly and serious, that the sarcasm of her statement could be overlooked if you didn’t know Hermione Granger personally. 

“Lies, it’s all lies Ron, don’t let her fool you! It’s witchcraft I say, witchcraft!” Harry pretended to be scared, widening his eyes and tightening his grip on Ginny’s arm. 

“How dare you challenge me! I am the all powerful witch!” Hermione escaped Ron’s hold and sprinted in front of them, turning around so she was now face-to-face with them. 

Ron jumped over towards Harry and Ginny, hugging them tightly as they all pretended to cower in fear. 

“Stand back! Or I will curse you! I won’t hesitate!” She demanded, holding out her arm as if she had a wand ready to hex them. Her stance should have looked powerful, one foot in front of the other as she stood slightly diagonal to the crew. However, she just looked silly because she was struggling to keep herself up on her own two feet. 

Harry, Ginny, and Ron all looked at each other, then burst out giggling. 

“Please don’t kill us scary lady!” Ron held his arms up, pleading for innocence. 

“We’ll do anything for you to spare us!” Ginny got down on her knees, holding her hands together in a fist, begging for mercy. 

“Anything! Anything you want!” Harry threw his arms out at the girl’s mercy. 

“Very well. You are all spared,” Hermione pretended to pocket her invisible wand. They all relaxed, spitting out ‘thank you’s’ and ‘we shall repay you’s’. “However, only if he carries me the rest of the way home,” she pointed towards Ron. 

He shrugged his shoulders, “Fine by me.” He ran over to her and without hesitation, bent down and slung her over his shoulder, burying her face in his back. 

“Hey!” Hermione pounded her fists into his spine, but to her dismal, he didn’t even flinch. 

“You asked to be carried, you never specified how,” his hearty chuckle was contagious, and she broke character, dropping the serious tone. She burst out laughing, unable to contain the amount of joy she was feeling in this moment. 

Hermione couldn’t will herself not to, so she started to drift off to sleep while she was being carried. The effects of the alcohol were all boiling over, and she was left on the verge of blackout and utter exhaustion. 

Her eyelids felt heavy, so she gave in to her urges and shut them completely. The slight bumping of her body with each new step Ron took was just enough to keep her awake. 

She just closed her eyes and let him carry her all the way back, where she would no longer be able to escape her reality, and would be faced with the facts that were life. She would be carried into bed and left to her own thoughts again, without distractions to mask the pain inside of her.

So, she just lived in the moment. She was enjoying being carried. The wind of the cold February night gently blowing on her neck, sending shivers down her spine. The familiar smell of firewood and freshly mown grass in the fabric of Ron’s sweater. The murmured voices of her friends making light conversation. 

She found herself doing a lot of that recently, just living in the moment. And she would continue to do so, as long as it interfered with her urges and dark thoughts. As long as she was living. 

  
  



End file.
